Simon and Milo Don't Find True Love

In the fall of 2003, after they sang the theme song for the Disney movie Get a Clue, starring Bug Hall, the Canadian pop group Prozzak was splashed across the Disney channel.  They were renamed Simon and Milo, to avoid the association with drug use.

Their music videos were animated.  Simon (Jay Levine) was short and dark haired, well dressed, with a head that had the habit of separating itself from his body.  Milo (James Bryan) was tall, blond, and muscular, a stereotypic pretty boy.  And they had a back story.

Centuries ago, they were on opposite sides of a long, harsh war.  Finally they fought each other in hand-to-hand combat.  Then a voice from the sky told them:










You have been chosen.
Chosen to live in a time that is not your own,
sentenced to walk the Earth in search of True Love.
Only True Love holds the key to your destiny.

They were zapped into the 21st century, where they were sometimes in high school, but more often rock musicians.

The music videos on the Disney Channel illustrated "Get a Clue" and three earlier songs: "Sucks to Be You" (1998), "Strange Disease" (1999), and "It's Not Me, It's You" (2001).

They all have the same general plot: Simon tries to find "true love" with a woman, but is rejected.  As he sits, depressed and lonely, Milo is there to offer his hand.  They walk side by side into the sunset.

Could Milo be Simon's true love?

There are lots of clues.  Milo never exhibits any interest in women, and he treats Simon in an unfailingly loving manner.  Most friends would tire of Simon's constant depression and self-doubt, but Milo never hesitates, always supports him, gently waits for him to realize who his true love is.

And once, as Simon flipped through a list of potential lovers, Milo's face was there.








But Disney didn't see it that way: all of the rather extensive press about the duo talked about Simon's quest for a girl.

Nor did Prozzak. The band released a new album in 2005, Cold Cruel World, with Simon older, but still depressed, still searching for true love.  Not with Milo.