Mar 29, 2014

12 Public Penises of Paris

My favorite spot in Paris is the Luxembourg Gardens, the grounds of the French Senate.  It's got everything you want in a Parisian park: geometrically-precise walkway, sculpted groves of chestnut trees, odd buildings in neoclassical style, a guignol (old fashioned puppet show), random concerts and artistic exhibitions, two massive neoclassical fountains, and statues.

106 of them.  Poets, politicians, queens, saints, and figures from mythology.  Everyone from Charles Baudelaire to Princess Anne de Beaujeau to Silenus, the God of Wine.  Many muscular bodies, with enough frontal nudity to rival  Prague or Washington DC.  Here are the top 12 Pubic Penises of the Luxembourg Gardens:

1. Le faune dansant (Lequesne).  A naked faun dancing and playing a trumpet.

2. L'acteur grec (Bourgeois).  A flamboyant young actor from ancient Greece, holding his script.

3. Marius debout sur les ruines de Carthage (Vilain).  Marius, naked except for a strategically-placed cloth, is gazing down on the ruins of Carthage.

4. The Ahaha Sculpture.  A naked man with the word "Ahaha" sprouting from his back.  He has a twin who is making a rude gesture.

5. Jeune vendangeur (Young Harvester, Dumilatre).  The Young Harvester isn't carrying any harvesting equipment.  He's a nude boy.

6. Polyphème surprenant Acis et Galatée (Ottin).  Ok, he's a heterosexual Cyclops who catches his rival, Acis, with Galatea, and smashes him with a boulder.  But he's still naked.

More after the break.

7. David vainqueur de Goliath (unknown).  He stands on a pedestal with a sword in one hand and his cloak in another, a bulge instead of a penis.

8. L'effort (Roche).  A muscular Hercules is diverting the river Alpheus.

9. Étudiants morts dans la Résistance (Watkin).  A stylized naked youth holding his dead companion, commemorating the students who died during the Resistance.

10. Le marchand de masques (Astruc).  The Merchant of Masks is an underwear-clad youth with a sculpted bulge standing on a pile of masks representing poets.

11. I don't know who this is. He's unmarked, but naked, wearing an 18th century wig.

12.  And don't  forget the statue of Mercury on the Rue Soufflot, on the way to the Pantheon, the neoclassical mausoleum where many French greats are buried.

Or you can take the Rue de Vauvin south about five blocks to the Bains d'Odessa (5 rue d'Odessa), a massive gay bath house, also in a neoclassical style.

See also: A Beefcake Tour of the Louvre and A Beefcake Tour of the Musee d'Orsay.