Oct 14, 2015

The Top 12 Public Penises of Minnesota

Minnesota is only about a five hour drive from Rock Island, where I grew up, but it's a whole different world.

1. Everybody walks around in t-shirts and shorts, even when it's cold outside.
2. Prime time starts at 7:00 pm.
3. "Dinner" is a noon meal.
4. It's not soda, it's "pop."
5. You have to smile all the time, or people ask you "what's wrong?"
6. You're supposed to talk about the weather.  A lot.
7. There's a surprising amount of nudity or beefcake in public art.

Here are the Top 10 Public Penises:

1. "The Progress of the State" at the Minnesota State Capitol (see my post on Roadside Beefcake)

2. This muscular guy in underwear is on the front facade of Grace Lutheran Church in Mankato.  I think he's the resurrected Christ.

3. Bemidji features a statue of Paul Bunyan and his Blue Ox, plus several Indians, such as Nanabozho the trickster god.  Here he is naked.

4. Alexandria features a giant statue of a Viking, Big Ole, plus a giant replica of the Kensington Runestone (see my post on the runestone).

5.  Who'd expect to see this neoclassical Greek sculpture outside the Minnesota Historical Center in Minneapolis?

6. The Minnesota State football team is the Spartans, so Fergus Falls has a statue of a (fully clothed) Spartan.

7. There's another Viking, sword raised, in Spring Grove.

8. The 40-foot tall "Beach Dude" in Hampton has a prominent bulge.

9. "Wings" is stylized, but definitely a male figure with a penis, in the lobby of the Rand Tower in Minneapolis.

10. There's another muscular, semi-nude Indian on the grounds of the Kandiyohi County Courthouse in Willmar.

11. In the Minneapolis Institute of the Arts, this sculpture shows a male angel kissing a naked man.  I'm pretty sure they're both men.

12. It also has a full range of ordinary male nudes, like this drawing of a youth by Benedetto Luti.

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