Dec 10, 2014

My 12 Christmas Boyfriends

After my 15 Reasons to Skip Christmas post, you may think that I've had nothing but dreary, depressing, heterosexist holidays.

Actually, only about 30% of the Holiday Seasons I recall have been traumatic or otherwise unredeemably awful: getting sick, getting dumped, being bored to death, hearing that "Merry Little Christmas" song a thousand times, my dad yelling at us, the year my sister gave me office supplies.  50% have had a few redeeming moments, and 20% have been rather pleasant.

My top 12 have all involved boyfriends.

1. Tarzan: When I was seven years old, we drove six hours east to Indiana to spend Christmas with my Grandma Davis.  My brother and I got one present each; very stingy for Christmas in the 1960s!  Then, on January 1st, we drove home, and Santa Claus had come!  And he broke the bank!

I got a Tarzan Bopper, an inflatable full-sized punching bag that you could punch -- or pretend he was your boyfriend and hug.

We drove away from a house with nothing under the tree.  Surely Dad didn't sneak out, drive six hours back to Rock Island, and put out the presents.  How did they get there?

The rest of this post, with uncensored photos, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

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