Oct 29, 2017

Are You a Top or a Bottom?

People are always asking if you're a fan of the front or the back.

Backsides have their allure.  Butts are pleasantly shapely, and hamstrings and calves have an appeal.  Besides, you can ogle at them without the owner noticing.

But they pale in comparison to the weak-in-the-knees magnificence of muscular pecs, abs, and biceps. Not to mention the basket.

And the face.  Who wants to cruise the back of someone's head?

So I don't understand why:

1. Homophobes always equate gay with anal sex.  "I'm not homophobic, but the things you do are so disgusting!" they squeal.  "How can you do that...that butt thing?  Doesn't it make you sick?"

2. The first thing gay men ask is "Are you a top or a bottom?" (For anal sex).

3. Or in my case, because I'm on the tall side, they just assume.  The moment we get to my apartment, they flop onto their stomachs.

4. Guys who are bottoms are denigrated as unmanly.  "He may act all masculine and butch, but he's really a little sissy!  The moment you get into the bedroom, he flops onto his stomach!"

5. When anal is forced, it's a felony.  Every other forced same-sex act is a misdemeanor, not nearly as serious in the eyes of the law.

6. After a night of very energetic erotic activity, guys say "Well, that was nice, but I want to go all the way with you!  I want to have sex!" Anything not involving the butt is preliminary, "fooling around," not really sex at all.

It's due to the heterosexual assumption that sex must always involve a male penetrating a female.  Whatever gay men do must follow that model, and since there's no vagina, they must substitute the butt (and the one who gets penetrated is like a woman, therefore despicable).

Sexist, homophobic nonsense.  Sex involves many different activities.  Your whole body can participate, not just one part.

When I moved to West Hollywood in the 1980s, we weren't sure yet what caused AIDS -- the HIV virus had not yet been isolated,  but we knew that it was transmitted easily through unprotected anal sex -- so most guys stayed away from it.  The rest used condoms.  Always.

Today only about half of gay men are interested in anal (50% are bottoms, 20% tops, and 30% versatile).

Oddly, those who are into it don't use protection: only about half of older and a third of younger men use condoms.


See also: The night I lost my virginity.

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