When I was a kid, I watched the preacher up on his podium three times a week, pacing and pounding his Bible and screaming until his brown business suit was soaked with sweat and you could glimpse his tight, hairy chest underneath.
At Nazarene summer camp, I saw my Sunday school teacher, Brother Dino, naked in the shower, and got a nice view of of the Gospel-singing Sanderson Brothers peeing in the woods.
My first real boyfriend was a student preacher.
My goal is to date, hook up with, or at least see a religious leader in each of the major religious groups.
a Traditional Catholic monk, and I might have hooked up with a priest in New York, but I'm not sure. He was vague about it.
2. Eastern Orthodox. No Romanian Orthodox monks, such as pose for those erotic-religious calendars, but I dated a former Greek Orthodox priest with a pushy mom.
3. Evangelical Christian. Lots of ex-evangelicals. Alan, the first guy I dated seriously in West Hollywood, was a Pentecostal minister. But no practicing ones, unless you count glimpses of a Baptist boy in the act.
5. Hindu. Does a a follower of the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi count?
7. Pagan. They don't really have professional clergy, but I've dated Wiccans.
get a sausage sighting.
9. Jewish. I had a Jewish partner for 10 years, and hooked up with several other Jewish guys, but no rabbis. Not even any rabbinic students.
See also: Brother Dino in the Shower; The Sanderson Boys Get Naked; and The Top 10 Public Penises of Islam