Nov 14, 2014

Top 12 Public Penises of Central America

I've never been to Mexico, except a few times to Tijuana, which hardly counts.  People keep inviting me to the gay resorts of Cabo San Lucas and Mazatlan, but I want to see the archaeological sites; the Aztec ruins, the Mayan pyramids, the gate at Teotihuacan that looks like a portal to another dimension.

And, of course, the beefcake.

Here are the top public penises of Mexico and Central America.

1. In Mexico City, these buffed Aztecs are founding Tenochtitlan, the Aztec capital and the largest city in North America  during the 15th century (10 time the size of London at the time).

2. Gaspar Yanga, an African slave who led a revolt against the Spanish in 1570, is memorialized in this statue in Veracruz.

3. Moving south to Guatemala, the town of Livingston features an incongruously neoclassical Dios de la Mar (God of the Sea).

4, Tecun Uman, the last ruler of the Mayas and national hero of Guatemala, is memorialized, muscles in all, by Rodolfo Galeotti Torres.

More after the break.

5. Chief Lempira, leader of the Lenca tribe, fought against the Spanish in the 1530s.  This bicep-heavy statue is in downtown Tegucigalpa, Honduras.

6. The Museo de Arte in San Salvador, the capital of El Salvador, has a nice collection of  local sculpture and painting, like a shirtless Indian being led into the future (unfortunately, by a naked lady).

7. And the Monument to the Revolution, a mural of a naked man with his arms upraised.

8.-9. Two shirtless, muscular soldiers raise guns aloft in separate monuments to the revolution in Managua, Nicaragua.

10. The Centro Neotropico Sarapiqui, about a two hour drive from San Jose, Costa Rica, contains an archaeological park, a biodiversity museum, and this naked warrior holding the severed head of his enemy.

11. For a change of pace from the monuments to leaders of revolutions, go to Panama City, Panama, where the conqueror Balboa stands on a globe held up by naked men.

12. Plus the most famous citizen of Panama, boxer Roberto Duran.

See also: The Top 12 Public Penises of the Caribbean.