Dec 14, 2014

The Top 12 Public Penises of Australia

The Land Down Under is surprisingly scarce in its male nudity in public art.  Maybe you're expected to make do with nude beaches, runs, and art exhibits, plus the nude selfies of sports hunks like David Williams.

There are a few treasures for the beefcake aficionado scattered about.

1.  Moving from east to west, we'll start with Brisbane, the capital of Queensland and one of the most populous cities in Australia. On Queen Street, you can see two rather elongated nude people giving each other the cold shoulder after an argument in Dialogue (2004), by Cezary Stulgis,

2. About an hour northwest of Brisbane, in Kilcoy, Queensland, there's a monument to Yowie, the Big Foot of Australia.  There have been hundreds of sightings of the legendary creature, who apparently doesn't have a penis.

3. About three hours south of Brisbane by car, Cape Byron, New South Wales, is the easternmost point in Australia, commemorated by a 13-foot tall galvanized steel statue of a naked man holding a bell and a sun disk.  This one definitely has a penis.

4. Sydney, the capital of New South Wales and the biggest city in Australia,  is another 9 hours down the coast (this is a big country).  It's got enough sights for a month-long visit: the Opera House, the Royal Botanical Gardens, the Art Gallery of New South Wales, and the most vibrant gay cultural scene in the Southern Hemisphere. This art deco statue looks out from the Victoria Building.

5. Canberra, Australia's capital, is three hours south of Sydney by car.  It became the capital as a compromise: it's between Sydney and Melbourne, the two main contenders.  There's not a lot of public penises around, but you can see some statues of semi-nude athletes outside the Canberra Sports Institute.

More after the break.

6. In Melbourne, Victoria, a seven hour drive south of Canberra, the beefcake starts to pick up a bit.  These stylized naked figures stand guard outside Eureka Tower.

7. Also check out the Trial of Socrates on the wall at Melbourne University.

8. And, in the suburb of Geelong, the Spirit of ANZAC, a monument to the Australian and New Zealand soldiers who fought in World War I.  This one is shirtless.

9. Alice Springs, in the Northern Territory, is about 1300 miles north of Melbourne, or a three-hour plane flight.  But how else will you see the Anmatjere Man?  He's actually in Aileron, about 100 miles north of Alice Springs, a 55 foot tall aboriginal, a little on the gaunt side, but fully equipped (covered by a loincloth in front, but not in back).

He's got a gigantic wife and child nearby.

10. Next stop: Perth in Western Australia, another three-hour plane flight, away.  You're looking for Pas de Deux, male and female dancers, the male muscular but not nude, at Belmont City College in the suburb of Belmontt.

11. And this statue of Yagan on Heirisson Island.  Yagan was an aboriginal warrior who led a resistance movement against the British invaders.  When he was killed in 1833, his head was removed and placed in a British museum as an "anthropological curiosity" until 1964 (it was finally returned to Australia in 1993).

The fully nude Yagan on Heirisson Island is the subject of controversy, with townsfolk petitioning to have his sex organs covered up.

12. Four hours south of Perth by car, the town of Albany, features a statue of Mokare (1800-1831), who helped the British explore the area.  Sort of the opposite of Yagan.  Apparently he was rewarded by getting his sex organs covered by a loin cloth.

See also: 5 Places to See Naked Men in Australia