Jan 25, 2015

The Top 12 Public Penises of East Asia

I visited Japan and Thailand many years ago, and took some classes in Mandarin Chinese, but otherwise East Asia is an undiscovered country.   I'm not even sure what sights I want to see, except for the Great Wall and the Forbidden City.

And a lot of East Asian bodybuilders wearing only towels.

I know there won't be much beefcake art on my list.  A combination of Confucian prudishness, Communist prudishness, and the decentralization of the human figure in traditional art has made public penises scarce.

But, for the intrepid, here are 12 respectable examples.


1. Olympic Forest Park in Beijing features some statues of naked runners, mostly women, but with some men about.

2. Also in Beijing, the monument to the Tiananmen Square Massacre contains a shirtless hunk trying to stop a tank.

3.Shanghai, the largest city in China and probably the world (14 million) is rather lacking in beefcake art, but the suburb of Suzhou features this rather well endowed individual.  I don't know what the chains are for. 

4. Jiu Lu, the biggest shopping area in Guangzhou, near Hong Kong,  has many bronze statues, but most are fully clothed.  This boy has a penis peeking out of his pants. 

5. Surprisingly, there is a Sex Museum in nearby Tongli.  Only heterosexual acts are depicted, but at least there's a few gigantic phalluses around. 

6. In Hong Kong, there's a statue of Bruce Lane, still a major star and folk hero there. He's posing shirtless.

More after the break.


7. On to Taipei, the capital of Taiwan, where basketball player Kobe Bryant is fighting a giant mamba snake, which is sinking its fangs into his Achilles tendon.  It's in a Basketball Art Exhibition.  I'm pretty sure basketball players don't really fight giant snakes. 


8. Japan hasn't been subjected to the twin puritanical influences of Confucianism and Communism, as evident in its many nude festivals.  But there still isn't a lot of beefcake art.  If you're lucky, you'll run across this beefy, naked jazz player in Tokyo. 

9. And a sumo wrestler.

10. Momotaro, "Peach Boy," is a popular hero of Japanese folklore, with many statues all over the country.  This one is in Inuyama, near Nagoya.  


11.  Korea is also lacking in beefcake art, but in Seoul, you can find a neoclassical statue of two semi-nude horsemen. 

12. On Jeju Island, off the southern cost, there are many dol hareubangs, phallus-shaped statues of fertility gods leftover from an earlier culture.  This one is not only phallus shaped, he has a penis of his own.

Maybe you'd be better off looking for the real thing at the Naked Man Festival of Japan.