Feb 3, 2015

Top 10 Public Penises of Portland

I've only been to Portland, Oregon once, but it was an amazing experience.  It has the biggest of everything: Powell's Books, which covers an entire city block; Steam, a bath house bigger than the most of the ones I've been to in Europe; The Portland Eagle,  a leather bar bigger and more crowded than the Faultline in West Hollywood.

And more public penises than in the whole county of Los Angeles.

1. The Portland Art Museum has a weird, eclectic collection of nude male art, like this statue, so realistic that I felt it necessary to censor his penis.

2. And this fuzzy animal preening before a mirror.  Can you think of a reason you won't be bringing a copy home to give to your nephew?

3. It also has more traditional male nudes, like this muscular number by Gaston Lachaise (before you google him to see if he was gay, there's a naked lady, too).

4. And this stylized chunk.

5. I'm not sure what this frieze at the courthouse is supposed to signify.

More after the break.

6. But this represents "The Coming of the White Man," with two muscular Native Americans staring at European encroachment.

7. I didn't realize that Lewis and Clark brought a muscular black guy along on their famous expedition.

8. The "Portland Penis Store" is actually "The Gold Door," which sells folk and tribal art from around the world.

9. A Rococo ceramic with something extra.

10. It's only a short drive from Portland to Salem, where this shirtless lumberjack has become a symbol of the state.  Makes sense.

See also: The 10 Best Gay Neighborhoods in America.