Kept after school.
Spanked for having bad grades.
Told they need to do something special to pass the class.
Lots of kids fantasize about their teachers. After all, who else do you spend a good deal of time just looking at? Not your parents or friends -- you're interacting with them, or looking at something else. But teachers stand at the front of the room and talk. And talk. While you look.
If you're lucky, you'll catch a glimpse of their biceps or bulge.
If you're very lucky, you'll see them outside of class, maybe with their shirts off.
If you're very, very lucky, you'll get to do more than look.
Through high school, college, and grad school, I've had over 50 male teachers and professors. I "did more than look" with four of them, either at the time or years later.
1. Dr. Burton, the muscle bear who held end-of-the-semester handcuff parties at Augustana, but he doesn't really count, since I knew him before I registered for his class.
2. Dr. Singer from Indiana University, who Viju and I competed over, and two more.
Can you guess the other two:
1. Mr. Davis (Math). Everyone thought he was my uncle, and I was surprised myself to find Davises in the world that I wasn't related to. Black hair, sharp features, and big, expressive hands.
He wore a thin white shirt with no t-shirt, so in the right light you could see the contours of his body as he moved. And his basket -- the first I ever fantasized about.
Years later, someone told me that he was a fixture at the Hawaiian Lounge, Rock Island's gay bar.
2. Mr. Milton (Greek Mythology). A total hippie, with fuzzy red hair and a red beard and a thin, compact frame. He wore a gold chain around his neck, and red chest hair poked up from his shirt that was unbuttoned two (not one) buttons down
3. Mr. Barker (Gym and Health). Short ruddy complexion, wrestler's build, gigantic biceps that strained against the fabric of his white polo shirts, and, when he walked, a bulge that visibly shifted.
4. Mr. Peterson (Science). Black hair, blue eyes, always smiling, always wore a white shirt and tie. He caught me and Dan drawing a satiric picture, and said "If you have so much free time on your hands, you can stay after school and help me wash test tubes."
Afterwards he bought us hamburgers. Best detention ever!
The full list is on Tales of West Hollywood.