Jan 7, 2016

12 Sausage Fondlings, Gropes, and Grabs

I always say that I had 1 1/2 sexual experiences before that  December afternoon a couple of weeks after my 18th birthday, when I went home with Andy the Little Person Postal Worker.

But I've been using a narrow definition.  What if I include sausage fondlings, gropes, and grabs?  I had at least 12 of those before my 18th birthday.

Grab = You just touch it.
Grope = You manipulate it inside his pants
Fondle = You take it out of his pants

Denkmann Elementary School

1. Mark. December of fifth grade, my wild night: a cute boy named Mark talks me into crossing forbidden 18th Avenue and then going back to his house, without telling my parents where I am.  Before I know it, it's dark out, and I'm in big trouble.  But I do get a sausage fondling..

2. Javon. In April of fifth grade, I visit my Indian cousins, and we play a game involving tying up my older cousin Javon and "torturing" him for information.  Including a sausage fondling.

3. George.  Speaking of cousins, that summer I visit my Cousin George in South Carolina.  We take a bath together and sleep together nude: "Only fools wear pajamas."    And indulge in sausage gropes.

4. Marty. At Nazarene camp the summer after sixth grade, Marty shows me how to "hit a home run" with a girl, and pushes my hand against his pants. I get a major grope of his baseball bat.

Washington Junior High

5. Dan.  My boyfriend through junior high. He is a little standoffish, not effusively physical, but once in blue moon we hug and grope a little.

6. Buster.  One day when Cousin Buster and I are alone in the trailer, he goes to the bathroom.  After awhile he calls me in.  He's sitting on the toilet.  Ok, this one doesn't really count.

7. David.  The summer after ninth grade, two twelfth grade best buddies named Terry and David teach me about oral sex in the church parking lot.  The lesson includes an incidental grope.

8. Aaron. I build a private place in the attic of our new house for the purpose of sexual exploration, and soon start inviting other guys there.  My conditions are: no girl magazines visible -- hide the covers -- and I get to watch.  Tom, Aaron, Craig, and Marty (not the same Marty as in #4) do it in my room at different times, and once Aaron invites me to help him out. He seems embarrassed by the incident, and doesn't come up to my room again.

Rocky High

9.Todd.  The night of my first sexual experience, at summer camp with Todd the Lebanese violinist, involves fondling and oral.

10.  Verne.  We date all through the spring of my junior year, breaking up only when he gets a girl pregnant and has to marry her. Sometimes alone in his room he gets a hankering to "think about girls," which oddly involved sausage fondling.

11. Tyrone.  In the school parking lot after the Harvest Dance, Tyrone takes it out and lets me work on it for a few minutes.

12.Dino.  During the summer after my senior year, I go to a guy-only party with Dino, and we play naked Slip N Slide.  There's some incidental groping in the mass of naked bodies.

I've lost contact with 3 of the boys, 3 are gay, and 6 are straight (or at least they married women and had children).  Does that mean that both gay and straight men like sausage fondling?

The full list, with nude photos, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

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