Apr 30, 2016

September 1984: Sex and Astrology in Hell-fer-Sartain, Texas

Hell-fer-Sartain, Texas, Fall 1984

I'm 23 years old, just graduated from Indiana University with my M.A. in English, with a new job at a state college in Hell-fer-Sartain, Texas.

I hate the bugs, the humidity, the rednecks, the country-western music, the hour-long drive to the nearest gay bar.

But I like the men: they grow them BIG in Texas.

I take out an ad in the Montrose Voice, trying to find guys for dating and romance.  They charge by the letter, so:

GWM, 23, 6'0, 180, musc, into bks, tv, f/sf, mus, dts only.

Who knew that some of these acronyms are used for fetishes?

After a few rather inappropriate responses, I pay for the extra vowels: into books, television, fantasy/ science fiction, music. Dates only.  

A few more inappropriate responses, including a guy who just breathes heavily into the phone, and then Raymond: a medical technician, 32 years old, from Detroit, in Texas five years. Reads science fiction.  Favorite authors: Asimov, Heinlein, LeGuin.

Sounds good, but what does he look like?  Newspaper ads don't include photos.

Black, tall, slim, bearded, hairy chest, gym-toned, .

I've not much into tall or slim guys, or beards, but I'm definitely into black guys!

We meet at Mother's in the Montrose for "drinks."  Raymond is attractive, with a round open face and a disarming smile.

 He turns me off by drinking three beers and flirting with the waiter, but this is my first date in Texas, so I can't complain.

He's into astrology.  We're Taurus and Scorpio,  opposite sides of the zodiac.  Explosively passionate in the bedroom.

The rest of the story is too risque for Boomer Beefcake and Bonding.  You can read it on Tales of West Hollywood.