I'm in Paris for the first time in eight years, visiting my old haunts and catching up with old friends. Farshad, the French Moroccan on my Sausage List, and his roommate Michel have me over for dinner.
Farshad is 38 years old, dark-skinned, bearded, with a hairy chest. More importantly, he's one of the founders of the first gay Muslim organization in France and a member of a gay-friendly masjid. Michel is a second-generation French Tunisian in his 20s, short, slim, with a smooth chest.
The French are not as star-struck as Americans, so celebrity hookups are not a common dinner-party topic of conversation, but I mention my relationship with Jimmy the Boy Toy, how my real-life celebrity boyfriend was not famous enough, so I invented a hookup with Gregg Sulkin of the Wizards of Waverly Place.
"Why didn't you tell him Leonardo DiCaprio?" Farshad asks. "He's more famous, and more believable. Tout le monde a été dans son lit. [Everyone has been in his bed.] Even me."
I nod knowingly. Leonardo DiCaprio is not only immensely talented, a humanitarian, and a strong ally of the gay community, he's very, very busy. He has been involved in passionate romances with female supermodels from three continents, yet he still has the time and energy to rack up up gay rumors. Nearly every guy I know claims to have been with him, or at least to have seen him kissing a bloke at a nightclub.
But Michel is impressed. "You and the star of Titanic!" he exclaims. "I never knew that. Did you say 'I'm king of the world!' when you topped him?"
The full story, with nude photos and sexual content, is on Tales of West Hollywood.