Oct 27, 2016

Top 10 Public Penises of New Zealand #1: The North Island

People in the U.S. tend to think of New Zealand as Australia's smaller, more remote cousin, notable only for Maori culture and some very weird movies.

But it has its own culture, with a distinctive English dialect, distinctive customs, foods, and folklore.

And a lot of beefcake.

Here are the top 10 public penises of New Zealand.    

1. Starting with Auckland, a city of 1.3 million on the North Island.

"The Athlete," at the gates of the Domain, Auckland's largest park, was sculpted by local artist Richard Gross in 1936.  Apparently he specialized in male nudes.  The City Council and church groups caused a fuss and forced him to cover up the dangly bits, but they're still visible on the nude runners in the frieze below.

2. This is a sculpture of a cloud and raindrops, according to sculptor Gregor Kregar.  It's outside the railroad station in the Auckland suburb of New Lynn

3. Paihia, a three hour drive to the north, is the site of the Waitangi Treaty Grounds, where the British and the Maori came to an agreement in 1840.

Maori wood carvings, whakairo, often include nude men with unabashedly enormous sizes.

4. As you can see from this aroused whakairo in Hamilton Gardens, about 1 1/2 hours south of Auckland.

According to Google Translate, "ko haua" means "Is cut."a

5.  Te Kuiti, about an hour south of Hamilton Gardens,  is the sheep shearing capital of the world.  It hosts an annual World Sheep Shearing Competition (David Fagan has won 5 times).  And a statue of "The Shearer"

More after the break

6. In Whanganui, about three hours south of Te Kuiti, there's a life sized statue of Peter Snell, who won three gold medals at the 1964 Summer Olympics.  He's wearing pants, but his bulge is very visible.

7. Next stop, about four hours south, at the southern end of the North Island, is Wellington, the capital, with a population of over 400,000, and lots of beefcake art.

A naked guy on a horse sits atop the Citizen's War Memorial, aka the Cenotaph.  It's honors the New Zealand troops who died during World War I.

8. Harry Holland (1868-1933) was a newspaper owner, businessman, and politician, the leader of the New Zealand Labour Party.  His memorial (seen here getting a face lift) depicts a nude man with an enormous bulge.  It was sculpted by none other than the famous local artist Richard Gross.

9. Wellington also features Kupe, who originally discovered New Zealand, a buffed Maori wearing a loincloth.

10. And "Solace of the Wind" (2008) a skinny naked old guy who seems like he's about to jump into the ocean.  He's often dressed up, or painted, by the locals. The artist is Max Patte.

I only made it through the North Island.  South Island next.

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