10 Reasons Why "Kiss Me, Kate" is a Gay Classic

1. It's a musical about the backstage antics during a performance of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew, which has a gay subtext.  The dissolute Petruchio comes to Padua to marry a woman for her money -- her looks are meaningless to him, as he spends a lot of time...a lot of time..with his male friends.

 2. As with most musicals, there are two romantic plots.  The "serious" one involves director/star Fred Graham and his costar Lilli Vanessi.  But their bickering romance is so ludicrously over-the-top that it's not serious at all:

Gazing down on the Jungfrau, from our secret chalet for two

The Jungfrau is the highest mountain in Europe. You can't gaze down on it from anything but an airplane.

3. The humorous plot involves gold-digging Lois Lane (silly name, but the elitist Porter had apparently never heard of Superman's girlfriend) and Bill, who would rather be gambling than spend time with her.

4. Author Cole Porter was gay, and infused his lyrics with coded -- and not so coded -- gay references for those "in the know."  For instance,  in"Too Darn Hot," among the various couples for whom the hot weather is impeding sexual activity:  The Marine for his Queen is not.

Marines were notorious for thinking of themselves as heterosexual as long as they were active partners in their relationships with the passive, gay-coded "queens."

5. Even when the lyrics aren't gay-coded, they're humorously  risque. For instance, in "Always True to You (In My Fashion)," Lois explains to Bill why she has sex for money:
I could never curl my lip
To a dazzlin' diamond clip,
Though the clip meant "let 'er rip," I'd not say "Nay!"

6. The 1953 movie features several famous beefcake stars, including Howard Keel (Fred, left), Bobby Van (Gremio), Tommy Rall (Bill), and Bob Fosse (Hortensio).

7. Two gangsters, Lippy and Slug, appear on stage to collect on a loan.  They sing "Brush Up Your Shakespeare," about using Shakespearean quotes to get girls:

If she says you're behavior is heinous, kick her right in the Coriolanus.

But their demeanor and body language makes it clear that they are a couple.

8. In the 1953 movie, one of the gangsters is played by Keenan Wynn, who was gay.

9. Watch the big dance number, "From This Moment On," for the superb choreography.  Then go back and watch it again.  In slow-motion.  You'll be in for a surprise.  Bob Fosse was quite gifted beneath the belt.

10. The other actors wear Elizabethan tights that are perfect for accentuate beneath-the-belt gifts, so you'll get several more surprises if you watch carefully.  Try it at your local community theater, too.

See also: All that Jazz; My Fair Lady.

Francois Goeske: Searching for Gay Subtexts

Robert Louis Stevenson's books are sacred, memories of childhoods past where boys conjured up lavish adventures with each other.  Especially Treasure Island, written specifically upon a request from his stepson Lloyd Osbourne that there be "no girls in it."  And there aren't, except for Jim Hawkin's mother.

So I was quite disappointed with the 2007 German miniseries, in which Jim Hawkins (Francois Goeske) not only has sex with a prostitute, he falls in love with a female stowaway, Sheila (Diane Willems)!

Ok, I thought, but maybe Goeske's other work will redeem him.  Some gay characters, or some substantial gay subtexts?

His first starring role was in a 2003 remake of the children's classic Das Fliegende Klassenzimmer (The Flying Classroom), set in a boys' school.  Only this one had girls and girlfriends.

In French for Beginners (2006), Henrick (Goeske) goes to France as part of a student exchange program, where he meets the Girl of His Dreams.  A reviewer on amazon.com suggests that this "charming" move be used in French language classes.

Grimm's Finest Fairy Tales: The Farmer's Daughter (2008).  I'm not familiar with that particular fairy tale, but I imagine it involves Goeske kissing some girls.

Summertime Blues (2009), based on the juvenile novel by Julia Clarke: Alex (Goeske) goes to the countryside with his mother, and meets a girl.

Dornroschen (2009): The fairy tale of Sleeping  Beauty.  Guess who wakes her with a kiss?

Schlaflos in Schwabing (Sleepless in Schwabing 2012): Consultant investigates a proposed deal with a Chinese company, and her nephew (Goeske) romances the boss's daughter.

Come on, I'm getting nervous.  There must be something.  How can you star in over 25 vehicles over a period of 10 years, and not have a single gay character or gay subtexts.

Ok, let's try his tv work:

On an episode of the German police procedural SOKO Stutgart (2011): Johannes (Goeske) comes out to his father, a conservative politician.

And on an episode of SOKO 5113 (2012): Julian (Goeske) is a gay concert pianist who suffers a homophobic attack.

I knew there had to be some somewhere.

Dylan and Cole Sprouse after The Suite Life

In 2004, child actors Dylan and Cole Sprouse became the teen stars of one of the biggest hits -- and biggest gay subtext series -- in the history of the Disney Channel, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody (2004-2008). 

 It was about two twins, the scheming teen operator Zack (Dylan) and the bookish intellectual Cody (Cole) who move into the posh Tipton Hotel, where their mother works as a singer. In an unprecedented 83 episodes, no one Said the Word, but gay subtexts were everywhere, from the gay-vague hotel manager Mr. Moseby to Zack's "date" with a popular boy to two boys obviously dancing together at a party.

In 2008, the twins, now 16, spun off onto The Suite Life on Deck (2008-2011), taking their shenanigans (and the gay subtexts) to a luxury cruise ship.  They wanted more control over the writing and direction, but Disney refused, so after 3 seasons and 71 episodes, they had had enough of Zack and Cody.

They also left the world of acting behind.  They enrolled in New York University, where Cole is studying archaeology, and is also an accomplished photographer.  Dylan is studying video game design and fine arts, and sells his artwork online.

In 2013, they toured Japan with Shin Koyamada as International Ambassadors on the U.S.-Japan Discovery Tour.

Both brothers are rumored to be gay, and Dylan, the more feminine of the two, has been linked with Jake T. Austin, but they haven't made any public statements.  Cole's tweets avoid any discussion of relationships.  Dylan mentions men and women both.  Cole states, in jest, that he's not attracted to either, just to cookies.

Dylan uploaded a nude selfie to attract someone.  I don't know who.

My friend Michael in West Hollywood claims to have hooked up with one of them.  He doesn't remember which.

The fully nude pic is on Tales of West Hollywood

See also: A Hookup with Cole or Dylan Sprouse.

Sean Astin

Speaking of John Astin, his adopted son Sean, born in 1971, was a reliable teen idol through the 1980s, with iconic roles in The Goonies (1985), White Water Summer (1987), and The War of the Roses (1989). (Meanwhile his brother Mackenzie was starring in The Facts of Life).

But Sean's gay subtexts began in earnest with starring roles in Memphis Belle (1990), a "boys alone" movie about a World War II airforce squadron (with Matthew Modine, Tate Donovan, and D. B. Sweeney).

 In the beefcake-heavy Toy Soldiers (1991), about boys alone in a private school.

In Where the Day Takes You (1992), as homeless drug addict Greg, who is partnered with Little J (Balthazar Getty).

And in Encino Man (1992), about college student Dave (Sean) and his slacker buddy Stony (Paulie Shore) unfreezing a cave man (Brendan Frasier) trapped in the ice.

In the late 1990s, Sean was mostly involved in boy-meets-girl-comedies and heterosexist actioners, but he returned to gay subtexts in a big way in The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-2003): his Sam Gamgee was achingly in love with Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood), in spite of the marrying-a-girl conclusion.

Today he is a little beefy, but he can still fill out a Speedo.

Although he is a supporter of gay marriage, Sean's only gay character, in  Stay Cool (2009), was a homophobic stereotype, a swishy hairdresser named Big Girl.