May 3, 2017
May 1979: One of My Little Brother's Friends is Gay
Rock Island, May 1979
One day in May 1979, near the end of my freshman year in college, my younger brother Kenny said "You've been a homo for almost a year now."
I glared at him. He was the only one I told, and we had an unspoken rule to never mention it. "The word is gay, and longer than that. I just figured it out last year."
"So, after a whole year, why don't you have...you know...a friend yet? You're pretty ugly, and you smell pretty bad, but there must be some homo out there willing to give you a break. "
"I'm sure they'd be falling all over each other to get my phone number, if I could actually meet someone. But I'm too young to get into the bars, there aren't any gay groups in town, and I can't just walk up and ask. So far I've met just two gay guys in town, and neither of them want to date me."
Kenny grinned triumphantly. "Well, I've got good news for you. You've known a fairy all this time without knowing it."
"One of my friends is that way. He just told me -- I'm so cool, everybody is ok with telling me their deepest, darkest secrets. So, want me to set you up on a date?"
"I don't know...a high school boy? That's a little young." Kenny would be sixteen in June, so his friends were mostly fifteen and sixteen-year olds --- an insurmountable age gap. Not for hooking up, maybe -- I slept with Mary's sixteen-year old brother last March, during spring break -- but dating? What would my friends think?
Oh, right...they would never know.
"Hey, it's not like you have a whole lot of choices. And..." He leaned in conspiratorily. "I'll tell you his darkest secret -- he thinks you're hot. I know -- it sounded crazy to me, too, but that's what he said. So..."
"Well, who is it? What does he look like?" I had met most of Kenny's friends over the years.
"That would be telling," Kenny said with a smirk.
"Well, how do I know if he's my type or not?"
"Oh, you have a type? Well...I should tell you, he's not very fruity."
"That's ok, I don't like femme guys."
"Yeah, I figured you like to be the girl."
"We're both guys, dummy! So...what else can you tell me about him? Is he cute?"
He shrugged. "How should I know what turns a gay dude on? But the girls kind of like him, I guess. But here's the thing -- he doesn't know you're gay, so you can't know he is, either. I'll invite five guys over, and you'll have to take it from there, dig?"
"Ok....." I said doubtfully.
The next Friday night, Kenny invited five guys and two girls over for a pizza party. We took over the basement rec room, which had a foosball game, a pingpong table, a tv set, and two couches.
Which was gay? Which thought I was hot?
The full story, with nude photos and explicit sexual content, is on Tales of West Hollywood.