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Sep 26, 2017

Good News and Bad News about Jake T. Austin

You remember Jake T. Austin, who played the gay-subtext kid Max on the Disney Channel's Wizards of Waverly Place (2007-2011), and Jesus on the gay-friendly Fosters (2011-2015)?  Well, I have good news and bad news.

The good news first:

1. He's got an amazing physique, which he is not shy about showing off. Not like some other Disney teen stars I could name.





2. Remarkable chest.  He's Tiger Beat fave rave material.

3. He's still working regularly, doing a lot of voiceovers, like Blue Beetle in the Teen Titans movies.

4. He appeared on Dancing with the Stars in 2016








5. Did I mention his six-pack abs?

6.  He still hangs out with Moises Arias.











7. He has never tweeted anything homophobic.

8. Nice biceps.

9. He's single.

10. He's been spotted on the street in West Hollywood.







And now the bad news:

1. If he was gay, he would have made a public statement by now

2. He has a girlfriend

4 comments:

  1. AnonymousSeptember 26, 2017 at 3:41 PM

    what then? single or girlfriend

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousSeptember 27, 2017 at 3:47 AM

    In Germany you are single, if you had no gir- or boyfriend

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NYSocBoySeptember 27, 2017 at 5:01 AM

      This article is a parody of all those teen magazine articles we read as kids, like "Ten Fun Facts about Shawn!" They always said "Good news, girls, he's single!" to signify that he was unmarried and therefore presumably available for the reader to date. If you never read any of those articles, you missed out on quite an interesting experience. They always assumed a hetero female reader, so gay boys had to "read between the lines."

      Delete

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