Sep 7, 2017

The Cities with the Most and Least Attractive Men

The dating app Clover, which is like Grindr for heteros (although it allows gay members), has analyzed data from 500,000 users, and found the cities and states with the most attractive men in the U.S.

I don't know their criterion is, but presumably it's facial beauty rather than physique or other traits.

1-3. Boston, Minneapolis, and Manhattan.  Ok, those cities are great, full of art and culture and gay venues.  It's the others that tend to be dreary, soulless, and homophobic:

4. Jacksonville, Florida, in the redneck nowheresville just south of Georgia.  A wasteland of car dealerships, fast-food restaurants, and rednecks that has won an award for being "the most racist, homophobic city in the U.S."  I guess they have such awards under the reign of the Orange Fuhrer.  This guy has nice abs, but a rather ugly face.


5. Scottsdale, Arizona, "The West's Most Western City," full of car shows, horse shows, and old people driving cars very slowly.  A scary suburb of scary Phoenix in a scary state where Joe Arpaio ruled and it's illegal to teach Hispanic studies.

This guy definitely has a noteworthy physique, but his face is not quite model-ready.













6. Virginia Beach, Virginia, a scary suburb of Norfolk with strict racial segregation, crazy tourist laws, and a 1950s feel.

Nice physique, but definitely not in the top 10% in the facial beauty department.  Maybe in the top 50%.












7. Lincoln, Nebraska (not even Omaha?).  At least it's a college town.  But according to a Slate article, its residents tweeted the most homophobic slurs per 100,000 posts of any city except Las Vegas.

This Lincoln guy has interesting glasses and nice hair, but he needs something to counterbalance the severity of his chin.










8. Baton Rouge, Louisiana, the state capital, where 84% of the population voted for the Orange Fuhrer, and the top "sights" are the Louisiana State University sports arena and a waterpark called the Blue Bayou. Never been there, never wanted to.  And this guy doesn't make me want to.  Nice physique, smug expression, and what is up with that hair?

Maybe gay men would be better off cruising the cities with the most "unattractive" men.

More after the break.

















The "unattractive" list includes places very near gay meccas.

1. Sunnyvale, California, south of San Francisco, with two gay bars of its own.  Nice physique, face that belongs to a high school bully calling you a "wuss" for not being able to catch the ball.













2.-3. The Bronx and Jersey City.  Ok, 25% of the population of Jersey City lives below the poverty level, but it has large communities of black, Asian, Middle Eastern, Hispanic, and gay people.

Now here's a handsome face.













4-5. Anaheim and Long Beach, California, near West Hollywood, with gay communities of their own.

I like the rugged, unshaven look in a guy, especially a guy with big hands and massive biceps.











6. Stockton, California.  Ok, it's in the San Joaquin Valley, about an hour and a half from San Francisco.  That's quite a distant commute.  But it has its own gay bar, and 40% of the population is Hispanic and 21% Asian.  I like those odds.














7. Providence, Rhode Island:  beautiful Colonial architecture, the historic Touro Synagogue, the John Brown House, the Rhode Island School of Design, and a huge gay scene with multi-level bars and even a bathhouse.

If this very attractive guy wants to offer me a job, or even a date, I'm there.









8. Detroit, Michigan.  A bad reputation -- after the demise of the auto industry, the city population declined by over a million, leaving whole neighborhoods nearly deserted.  High crime, high poverty.  But it's turning around.  There are artsy neighborhoods with quaint shops, restaurants, bookstores, and gay bars.  And lots of men who know their way around a gym.


1 comment:

  1. Wow. Someone still recognizes Minneapolis as a gay mecca. I guess since "Fuck the Midwest, the South is where it's at." failed...

    I'd add that gay villages in NY and CA are gentrified af. No way anyone NOT a millionaire investment banker can live there. ��

    ReplyDelete

No offensive, insulting, racist, or homophobic comments are permitted.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...