The Gong Show

During the late 1970s, every commentator who wanted an illustration of the end of civilization and the rise of barbarism used The Gong Show (1976-80).

Actually, similar contests were performed as early as Vaudeville, where performers tried to avoid getting "the hook" and being dragged offstage.

Here performers tried to win the approval of the three celebrity judges and avoid getting "gonged" (told to leave).  The performer with the most points at the end of the episode won a trophy and a prize.













Some performers who later became famous include Paul Reubens (Pee Wee Herman), Danny Elfman, and Andrea McCartle.  Stanley Williams, founder of the Crips gang, who was later executed for murdering four people, did a bodybuilding act.

But the fun was in watching the bad acts, in the same way that today, we prefer watching the horrifyingly bad performances to good performances on American Idol. 

Remember, this was the late 1970s, an era of recreational sex, casual drug use, disco dancing, and silly jokes, an era of fun and frivolity.  What was the harm in laughing at bad performances?






There were also recurring features, such as appearances by the Unknown Comedian, aka Murray Langston, who appeared with a bag over his head (in the top photo, he also has a bag over his penis).

The Gong Show Movie (1980) purports to be a week in the life of the Gong Show, with Chuck Barris playing himself, negotiating with outrageous contestants, censored acts, and miscellaneous craziness.













Many recognizable faces of the 1970s appeared, including Ed Marinaro, Rosie Grier, Tony Randall, and Danny DeVito.   There was female nudity, of course, but also ample beefcake.

Aida: Nubian Beefcake Musical

Aida is a favorite musical in high school and college drama departments.  With music by Elton John, lyrics by Tim Rice, a  source in an opera by Giuseppe Verdi, and a setting in ancient Egypt that begs for beefcake, where can you go wrong?

A lot of places.

First, the heterosexism is unrelenting.  Hetero-love is the guiding principle of the universe, the meaning of life, able to transcend time and space, etc., etc., yawn.

Second, the plot is staggeringly complex.  Everybody is in love with several people at once (all male-female, of course).

Aida is a Nubian princess captured and sent into slavery, where she becomes the servant of the Egyptian princess Amneris, and draws the attention of Amneris' fiance Radames. Meanwhile, the Nubian servant Mereb catches her attention.

Aida become the leader of a Nubian slave revolt, and also uncovers a secret plot to poison the Pharaoh.

Third, everybody dies.  I hate movies where everybody dies, and I hate musicals where everybody dies even more.  Mereb is stabbed to death.  Aida and Radames are buried alive; ok, they return four thousand years later in a modern-day man and woman looking at exhibits at an Egyptian museum, but still....

Fourth, the lyrics are awful.  Listen to Mereb singing "How I Know You":
I grew up in your hometown, at least began to grow
I hadn't got to my first shave before the body blow
Egyptians in the courtyard, my family in chains
You witnessed our abduction, which possibly explains
How I know you, how I know you
Before that fateful morning, my family enjoyed
A privileged existence, for my father was employed
As advisor to the King no less, which surely rings a bell
For as your are his daughter, you probably can tell

What's a body blow?  What kind of dumb rhyme is chains/explains?   Give me a break

That leaves the beefcake.  Egyptians and Nubians have to be shirtless, right?

Yes, but only the guards and other extras.  The main cast of high-caste Egyptian royalty wear bicep and pec-covering robes.

Still, Nubians were black, so in the U.S., there's a great deal of African-American beefcake among those extras.

And Mereb, the Nubian slave boy, sometimes gets to show some chest.

Or not.  I know this Mereb is fully clothed, but Joel Miller has a nice chest and a handsome face, and when are you ever going to see him again?

Maybe at an Egyptian museum in your next life.