Lane and I are back in West Hollywood for the Oscar party. As the nominees are announced, guys yell out "I've had him!" or "I've been with him!"
Brad: Tim Roth
A Cute Young Thing: Brad Pitt
Will the Bondage Boy: Sean Penn
Me: Richard Dreyfuss
Larry: Hugh Grant
A guy I don't remember: Tom Hanks
When we get to Mel Gibson, everybody in the room yells out "I've done that."
"Please!" Randall the Bear with the Pierced Penis exclaims. "You guys couldn't tell a real celebrity hookup from a porn fantasy! None of you have been in bed with Tom Hanks or Mel Gibson!"
"I was with Richard Dreyfuss," I tell him, my feelings hurt.
"Sure, with. As in you sat at the same table at the Abbey for 25 minutes."
"Well, who have you been with that was so great? And don't talk about Cary Grant and Groucho Marx again."
The iconic gay classic of 1955, with James Dean and Sal Mineo playing high schoolers in love, and Natalie Wood as their beard?
"Sal Mineo, right?" Will the Bondage Boy asks. "He was out, or almost out, in the 1960s. Everybody in Hollywood has been with him."
Randall nods. "But you'll never guess the other two."
The full story, with nude photos and explicit sexual situations, is on Boomer's Gay Celebrity Stories