Apr 19, 2018

Searching for Beefcake in the Least Athletic Colleges in the U.S.

According to College Magazine, here are the ten colleges with the most unathletic (i.e., least attractive) guys.  Let's see if they offer any beefcake potential.

1. Northwestern University, the Ivy League school of the Midwest.  This singlet-filling athlete is actually from the University of Nebraska, which beat Northwestern.

2. New York University, Manhattan.  Right on Washington Square, so many opportunities for jogging and walking.  But I admit, this powerlifter  won't be getting a lot of male-model job offers.

3. Towson University in Maryland, middle-brow: not Ivy League, but not exactly state university, either.  It has some athletics.  The swimmer on the left is rather ugly, but the one on the right isn't bad. Now, if they just wore speedos instead of those stupid shorts.

4. Vassar.  Although it is known as a women's college, the distaff side of Harvard, 42% of the students at Vassar are male.  There are some nice abs on these swimmers.

5. Sarah Lawrence is also known as a woman's college, although it began accepting male students sixty years ago.  They have a men's swim team with athletes who aren't bad looking, except for the second from the left, who didn't realize how cold the water was.

More after the break.

6.The California Institute of Technology in Pasadena draws mostly guys who hated gym class. These swimmers have their backs to us, but they look a little chunky.

7. Prairie View A&M (Agricultural and Mechanical) in Prairie View, Texas.  Who thought that they could draw new residents by pointing out that the town is in one of the most boring ecological regions on Earth?  And in the loathesome state of Texas? 

I couldn't find any good pictures of Prairie View athletes, but while searching, I came across this photo of Mack Beggs, a transgender teen who won a Texas state title in girls' wrestling n spite of attempts to bar him from the competition.  He should actually be competing against boys, but any inclusion is good inclusion.

8. New Jersey Institute of Technology, another school drawing mostly guys who didn't like gym class in high school.  These two swimmers had better have scintillating personalities, or else monumental beneath-the-belt gifts.

9. The New School for Social Research doesn't really have a campus.  Hippy-dippy classes and seminars meet in various buildings in Manhattan.  They offer soccer and basketball (the team mascot is Gnar the Narwhale), and a fitness facility that looks like one of those pitiful "ultimate fitness centers" in hotels.

10. Macalaster College in St. Paul, Minnesota. The swim team is mostly girls, I can't find any wrestling photos, but here's a basketball player.  He should put that tongue back in his mouth.  Or in someone else's.


  1. Minus two points for implying that more expensive colleges are inherently better, like Wharton's Shame over on Pennsylvania Avenue believes. (And no, this doesn't make ITT, Devry, or the rest any more than a step above a diploma mill. But everything above them is just fine.)

    1. Most of the colleges on the list are quite expensive.

  2. I meant "middlebrow": It's more a commentary on how much the student body is willing to spend. (Admittedly, someone at Harvard does get connections to frats and societies like Skull and Bones, but that says more about society as a whole than about the quality of education.)


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