Rock Island's home town was dark and scary, but Bettendorf's was bright, shiny, and new.
At Rock Island High School, you could study Spanish, French, German, or Swedish, but at Bettendorf High School, you could learn Italian, Chinese, and Russian.
Handy for the Better-Dorks' applications to fancy East Coast colleges.
Better-Dorks had way better beefcake. A state-of-the-art fitness center produced massive pecs, abs, and biceps,visible not only in swimming and wrestling, but in tennis, golf, and track.
Seriously, how do you get shoulders like that from running?
Their uniforms showed their bulges better, too.
Naturally we couldn't stand to hang around Better-Dorks. Unless it was to kidnap the Valedictorian and make him "guest of honor" at our graduation party.
Thirty years later, Rock Island is still poor (26% of the population below the poverty level, mean household income $43,000) and Bettendorf is still rich (8% poverty, mean household income $75,000).
Better-Dork High School still has way better beefcake than Rock Island.
And more bulgeworthy uniforms.
And lots of Attitude.
I don't know if Rock Island boys still kidnap the Valedictorian to make him "guest of honor" at their graduation party.