May 6, 2018

African Muscle #1: East Africa

Searching for "swim team" or "swim club" in sub-Saharan Africa has proven fruitless.  I tried French, English, Swahili, Yoruba, and Hausa, and got nothing but photos of kids or swimming pools at posh hotels.  But there are hundreds of pictures of African bodybuilders, many collected on

East Africa first.

1. Burundi, a small, landlocked country plagued by deforestation, soil erosion, and a genocidal war, offers this rather chunky muscleman.

2. The Democratic Republic of the Congo, previously Zaire, previously the Belgian Congo, is the biggest county in sub-Saharan Africa, with 78 million people, including this smiling bodybuilder with great biceps.

3.  The main language of Ethiopia, Amharic, is in the Afro-Asiatic family, related to Arabic, Hebrew, and ancient Egyptian.  It has its own distinctive alphabet.

I couldn't find any Ethiopian guys who weren't naked.

4.  Ethiopia has one of the lowest rates of cell phone usage in the world, only 2.2 million out of a population of 80 million.  Even war-torn Somalia, which has no central government, has a higher rate.  So here's an Ethiopian guy taking a nude selfie.

5.  Uganda, where world-famous dictator Idi Amin ruled from 1971 to 1979, now has a more stable, although highly homophobic government. Hopefully this bodybuilder in hot pink trunks is more tolerant.

More after the break.

6. Kenya is one of the wealthiest countries in sub-Saharan Africa, which still makes it one of the poorest in the world.  But at least these bodybuilders can afford muscle supplements.

7. Tanzania has several tourist attractions, such as the Serengeti National Park and the island of Zanzibar.  I don't know why two of these Tanzanian guys are wearing arm casts.

8. Rwanda, a small, land-locked country known for its ethnic conflict between the Tutsi and the Hutu.   It is home to model Jean de Dieu Ntabanganyimana, Mr. Africa 2017, known professionally as Jay Rwanda.

9. South Sudan is a new country, becoming independent in 2011.  Its main ethnic groups are the Dinka and the Nuer.

10. The Central African Republic is mostly grassland and gyms.

See also: The Top 10 Public Penises of sub-Saharan Africa


  1. Kind of interesting, the difficulty finding Ethiopian guys who weren't naked. I would assume that more for South Sudan, TBH. Being naked and uncircumcised were two of the "reasons" given by the Muslim population for Darfur. Naturally, many Darfur refugees were settled in Maine, North Dakota, Minnesota, and Michigan. (But seriously, this is the type of thing Evangelical millennials care about more than teh gheys, not that you'd expect older religious leaders to reflect that. Also, can I just say Gen Y here to avoid ambiguity?)

    Besides the Nuba nudes, Ethiopia is known for its Jewish and Christian populations.

    1. Out here on the Plains, the most common minority languages are Spanish, Dinka, Somali, and Arabic.

    2. Arabic's nothing new. A whole generation of Lebanese politicians in South Dakota, and even in the era of Trump, a bigwig in the state GOP is Gene Abdallah. (It's weird in South Dakota: Anti-Indian racism is everywhere, but other racisms are seen as just another vice of easterners.)

      Oh, a word on the H-word, I literally only use it in a historic context, to explain the circular reasoning behind gay stereotypes before Generation X.


No comments that use abusive or vulgar language or point out that a character is Not Wearing a Sign.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...