Jun 6, 2018

Deciphering the Mysterious Headline: Gruden, Yoked, Deuce.

I was looking for Omaha beefcake,  searching under "Creighton University" and "powerlifting," when I came across this mysterious

"John Gruden's Yoked Son Deuce Just Won a Powerlifting Gold Medal."

Lots of mysteries here.

1. Is Deuce actually the guy's name?  It's a gambling term referring to 2 on dice, rather an odd thing to name someone.  Or is it a phrase, "son deuce"?

2. What does yoked mean?  A "yoke" is something you put over the head and shoulders of an ox to get it to plow a field, but that can't be what it means here.  Maybe it refers to a disability,like this bodybuilder with Down's Syndrome.

3. Who the heck is John Grudin?  Since he popped up in a Creighton search, he must be a Creighton University professor, or maybe a local Omaha celebrity, like a newscaster.

Heartwarming:  The disabled son of a university professor has won a powerlifting gold medal.

First things first: I google Deuce Gruden, to see if it's a real person.

Yep, he's 24 years old, the assistant strength and conditioning coach of the Washington Redskins (a football team), who left them in January 2018 to join his father in Oakland.  Father John says he's "like a tiny little lady but a beast."

Here he poses with...well, I don't know what.

In 2017 he won a gold medal at the IPF Powerlifting Championships in Belarus by lifting 752.5 kg.

3. There's no indication that he has Down's Syndrome, so what the heck does "yoked" mean?

According to the Urban Dictionary, "muscular," from the resemblance the trapezoid has to a yoke.

It's used even with guys who don't have muscular traps, although with them a more accurate term is "swole."

3. Who is John Grudin, Part 1.

I found an article stating that "Washington Redskins Coach Jay Grudin closes on a 2.5 million dollar house near RG3 at Creighton Farms.  Sounds close, since Deuce worked for the Redskins, but it's John, not Jay.

I'm not even going to worry about what RG3 is, or why we're expected to be interested in the houses football coaches buy.

Or what it means to say that son Joey Gruden has won a walk-on with the Fliers.

By the way, Joey's nickname is the Slim Reaper, and he has 2,066 followers on Twitter.  Here he is in the hot tub with a girl.

4. Who is John Grudin, Part 2.

Joey's facebook friends include Christopher, Jay, JJ, Jack, Mike, and Deuce Grudin!  But no John.

But if I spell it Jon Gruden, I get Jay's brother and Joey's uncle (and the father of yoked Deuce), a football coach for the Oakland Raiders.  He's 50 years old, and probably one of these guys.

So, to recap:

We are expected to instantly recognize the names of not only every single player on every professional football team (50 per team) but the names of all their coaches (15 per team).  And the same for baseball and basketball.

That's over 5,000 names, a gargantuan feat of memory.  5,000 words are plenty for everyday communication in a foreign language.

And what does any of this have to do with Creighton University?

1 comment:

  1. I think it's a manakin with a sort of fleshy softness to it? They're sometimes used by MMA guys who get tired of the traditional mook.


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