Aug 6, 2018
Searching for Beefcake in the 10 Worst Suburbs of Minneapolis
Plus the traffic is awful. Whoever heard of driving all the way through downtown to get to the airport?
Plus it goes on forever. 70% of Minnesota's 5.7 million residents live the Minneapolis-St. Paul-Bloomington Metropolitan Statistical Area, which extends from St. Cloud to Redwing, a distance of 120 miles, crammed with tiny towns and suburbs that locals expect you to be intimately familiar with.
"Are you from Minneapolis?"
"No, I'm from Arden Hills. And you know what they say about Ardens Hills boys!"
Here are my least favorite Minneapolis suburbs.
The high school offers swimming, wrestling, track, and powerlifting (the Shakopee player is the one on the ground).
Now the population is 3% black.
It does have a Crossfit.
Next door to Orono, more mansions, more country clubs per capita than any other town in the U.S. Its unusual name makes it popular with Hollywood writers who want "standard Midwest," not realizing that it's the Beverly Hills of Minneapolis.
Here's the Wayzata High cross-country team.
More after the break.
First there's the name. I know it means "raccoon," but shouldn't they have at least considered changing it to something less disturbing?
Then there's the river: nothing like the low, slow, easy-going Mississippi I knew growing up in Rock Island. It's fast, brash, and noisy.
With all that money, you'd think there would be a decent used bookstore, museum, or theater. But everyone drives into Minneapolis for that, leaving nothing to do but look at the river and go to Lilli Putt (a miniature golf range).
7. Maple Grove, across the river from Coon Rapids. An extremely boring name coupled with horrific population growth (from 6,000 in 1970 to 60,000 in 2010) makes for an uncomfortable suburban experience.
This is a personal trainer who works at Anytime Fitness.
By the way, the song "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer," a Christmas favorite, is sung by Elmo Shropshire.
Here's a Lake Elmo Pony giving his opponent the Heimlich Maneuver.