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Oct 25, 2018

The Hunks of the Millennium's Worst TV Series, 2000-2009

My clickbait said that these are the worst tv shows of the 21st century, by year.  The ones I remember were decidedly awful, but they still managed to display some hunkitude.  Here are the top hunks of each of the horrible series:

2000: Tucker.  Eli Marienthal, the obnoxious, hetero-horny kid in the American Pie series, plays a foulmouthed, devious, hetero-horny kid trying to win the Girl.











2001: Black Scorpion.  Based on two Roger Corman movies about a female cop/superhero, who fights Frank Gorshin (The Riddler on Batman) as well as Batman himself Adam West.  There were several ex-hunks in attendance, but my favorite is Brent Huff, from softcore porn and actioners, as the firefighter turned super-villain Inferno.


2002: That 80s Show.  Young adults instead of high schoolers, and San Diego instead of Milwaukee, but the same dreadful plotlines and predictable character hetero-romances. Glenn Howerton played the focus character, an aspiring musician who works in a video store (a big deal in the 1980s).









2003: Luis, with the cute Luis Guzman as a...well, I guess Hispanic stereotype.  There seems to be an Asian stereotype in the cast, too, Reggie Lee as Zhing Zhang.  Soap hunk Wes Ramsey (here naked and absworthy) was involved somehow.







2004: Hawaii, a Hawaii 5-0 Clone with by-the-book cop and young, greenhorn partner (played by Sharif Atkins) patrolling Waikiki.

More after the break



















2005: Killer Instinct: renegade cop plays by his own rules, but does the job, catching lots of serial killers.


















2006: Ghost Whisperer.  A paranormal investigator who can talk to ghosts. She also has a husband (David Conrad, left) and son, and runs an antique shop.












2007: Til Death, a nuclear family sitcom with Brad Garrett of Everyone Loves Raymond, which I have never seen, as an old, disillusioned married guy.  He's tall, gaunt, and cadaverous, not exactly hunk material, but I'll take Eddie Kaye Thomas as the young, optimistic married guy next door.







2008: Rules of Engagement.  Another married-couple sitcom with the guy from Seinfeld as the long-time married, disillusioned husband, the guy from Just Shoot Me as his sleazy friend, and Oliver Hudson as the optimistic, naive fiance.  Slim pickins, but in a pinch I'd go with Oliver.









2009: Do Not Disturb.  Hijinks of hotel employees, cancalled after three episodes.  Jerry O'Connell can't get by on his good looks and primo pecs forever, so I'm going to go with Dave Franco, James' brother, as "Gus."

Don't touch that dial.  Next up: the hunks of the worst tv series of 2010-2018.

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