Shtisel: A Lot of Haredi Men Find Love

The Haredim are ultra-Orthodox, the Nazarenes of the Jewish world:no tv, no movies, no secular books, no internet. They wear untrimmed earlocks and Russian hats. Men and women are strictly segregated outside the family, and of course gay people must never be mentioned.

They disapprove of the state of Israel, since only the Messiah can restore the sacred land.

They disapprove of speaking Hebrew, too; the language of the Torah, used to discuss laundry?   But who in Israel still speaks Yiddish? (Actually, 2% of the population, mostly the elderly and the Haredim).

The Israeli tv series Shtisel (2013-), now streaming on Netflix, pits the elderly, traditional Shulem Shtisel (Dova’le Glickman) against his grown son, the quiet,artistic Asher Lev...um, I mean Akiva (Michael Aloni), who is still ultra-Orthodox but doesn't mind fraternizing with the outside world.   They live together in the Haredi neighborhood of Geula, Jerusalem, and teach at a Yeshiva school.

I started to watch because who could say no to hearing actors speak Hebrew and Yiddish?  Also Michael Aloni starred in Out in the Dark (2012), about a gay romance between an Israeli lawyer and a Palestinian student, and Zohar Schtrauss, who plays Lipa (Akiva's brother-in-law), starred in Eyes Wide Open (2009), about a married Orthodox man who falls in love with his male apprentice. Surely there would be gay characters.   Maybe quiet, artistic Akiva,who keeps rejecting offers of arranged marriage, would turn out to be gay.

Nope, he's straight.

No gay people in the series.  Indeed, it is obsessed with marriage. Akiva courts Elisheva, eventually marries her, then falls in love with his cousin Libbi, and gets a divorce so he can marry her.

His sister Gitti, abandoned by her husband  Lipa, starts to date.

Her daughter Ruchami starts to date a yeshiva boy, Hanina  (Yoav Rotman, left).

Even the elderly Shulem starts to date, and eventually marries.

The series is also obsessed with death.  Akiva talks to his dead mother, who tells him that the afterlife is "cold." Shulem talks to his dead wife, visits his dying mother, and talks to her after she dies.  Many scenes are set in an assisted living facility, where the ladies all wear caps, so they all look like they're dying of cancer.

After the first scene of dying people, I turned the depressing mess off. 

I fast-forwarded through a few more episodes, to see if there were two men together sharing moments that might indicate a gay subtext.

No such luck. Shulem and Akiva are surrounded by women in their private lives (sisters, wives, mothers, elderly dying relations).   Akiva has a posse, but it seems to be devoted to talking about girls.

Nor could I find any beefcake.  They aren't even shown taking ceremonial baths.

The last thing I need is a tv show that's depressing AND has no beefcake. 

Even if it is in Hebrew and Yiddish.

I rate it an F