Zach Galligan: The Bright Spot of the Summer of 1984

Summer 1984:  When everything fell apart.  I was 23 years old, with a M.A. in English from Indiana University and no job.  Over 200 resumes sent out, and an endless stream of "no openings, no openings, no openings."  All of the factories in Rock Island closed, so I couldn't even follow my parents' dream of working on an assembly line.   I couldn't afford my apartment, so I moved back into Eigenmann Hall, my old dorm, and took my old job in the snack bar.

I saw myself at age 50, still making sandwiches and watching the world change around me. 

Even the movies from that summer are depressing:  Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Karate Kid, Revenge of the Nerds.

Except for Gremlins.  The story was about cute cuddly creatures who go on a rampage and humorously destroy a small town, just what I needed to channel my aggressions over my failed life. 

And Zach Galligan, who played  Billy, the boy who opened the Pandora's Box:

Stunning.   Breathtaking. A work of art.

Billy got The Girl at the end, but who cared?  He was obviously gay anyway.

No nude scenes, but who cared? A smile from Zach Galligan was just as good as seeing his cock.

Well, maybe not as good.

In those days before the internet, I scoured the movie magazines to find out more about him:  a 20-year old Columbia University undergraduate with only two previous on-screen roles.  

I couldn't wait to see what Zach would appear in next.

It turned out to be a long wait. For the next couple of years, Zach appeared mostly in tv movies, which I never watched or even read about. His next big-screen role was Waxwork (1988), about small town high school students terrorizd by living waxwork monsters:  a werewolf, Dracula, the Phantom of the Opera, and so on. Zach's character gets the girl again, and all of his other friends die.  Rather a bummer.  

And the intensity of his gorgeousness was rather subdued.  Attractive, but not breathtaking.

I guess you needed to be in the summer of 1984.

I didn't bother with the sequels, Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990) and Waxwork 2: Lost in Time (1992), but All Tied Up (1993) was a must-rent because of the iconic scene where the three women his character has wronged tie him to the bed and rip his shirt off.

No definition at all, but, and he's got a definite bulge, obvious partially aroused.  And he's tied up.

But after all these years, still no gay characters or gay subtexts? Did he even talk to another man on screen?

I never went out of my way to see a Zach Galligan project again. Occasionally a hot guy would appear, on Melrose Place or Star Trek: Voyager, and I would check the credits and see the name "Zach Galligan"  and be pleasantly surprised.

No gay characters anywhere in his works, but in 2002 he starred on stage in Judy!, as a homophobic cop who goes undercover as a drag queen impersonating Judy Garland.

There were Judy Garland impersonators in 2002? But she died in 1969.

Today Zach states that he's constantly recognized for Gremlins.  Every day someone asks him about it.

I guess a lot of people remember the summer of 1984.