"Anna and the Apocalypse": Another Teen Zombie Christmas Musical

Do we need another teenagers vs. zombies movie?

How about a teenagers vs. zombies comedy-horror-musical mashup?

Set in Scotland.

At Christmastime.

With a lesbian character.

Ok, we have one:  Anna and the Apocalypse.

Anna (Ella Hunt) already feels like her world has already come to an end when she's transplanted from the city to small town Scotland.  She hangs out with a group of teens who have insecurities of their own, and break into song at the drop of a zombie:

1. Goofy John (Malcolm Cumming) has a crush on her, but doesn't have the guts to suggest moving out of the friend zone: "I'm starting to realize that the nice guys don't always get the girl."  Well, duh!

But maybe in the zombie apocalypse, when choices are limited,he'll have a chance.  It worked for Elliott on The Walking Dead.

2. Bad boy Nick (Ben Wiggins), who swaggers and brags and tries tired come-on lines to every girl in sight, is worried about living up to the expectations of his macho military father.  And maybe hiding some same-sex desire of his own: he is the leader of a posse that welcomes the Apocalypse as an opportunity to kick zombie butt.












3.  Computer nerd Chris (Christopher Leveau), who spends a lot of time swallowing the tongue of his girlriend, drama club queen Lisa (Marli Siu).  His problem is, no matter how much tongue-swallowing he engages in, he'll never be able to please the libido-enhanced Lisa.

4. And what does Lisa, the walking embodiment of female desire as seen through the hetero male gaze, want with Chris, when she's busy choreographing a double-entendre laden version of "Santa Baby" with semi-nude hunks as backup dancers? 

5. Nonbinary gender activist and kick-ass lesbian Steph (Sarah Swire) is Anna's kindred spirit: dumped by her girlfriend and stuck in a small town for the holidays, in a bad mood, ready to lash out at the world.  The zombie apocalypse gives her that opportunity.

The two main adults are Tony (Mark Benton, left ), Anna's widowed father ("If your mum could see you now"), and Savage (Paul Kaye), one of those uptight, fun-hating, teenage-phobic principals that inhabit mass culture.  In some of the early scenes, I'd swear that they are hitting on each other.  Then Savage goes all-out bonkers, using zombies as a weapon to attack the teenagers he hates.

The zombie virus spreads very quickly, overnight, trapping Anna and the Goofball in a bowling alley, the Computer Nerd and the Kick-Ass Lesbian in a homeless shelter, the Bad Boy on the military base, and the others in the school.  Their main goal is to reunite with their loved ones and await rescue, and when the rescue team is zombified, to get the hell out of town. There are some fun gags, like a zombified Santa and candy canes as weapons, but way too many deaths.  When the smoke clears, the survivors are Anna, the Bad Boy, and the Kick-Ass Lesbian.

At least they're not Burying their Gays.

Gay Characters: Other than Steph, it's all subtext and innuendo.

Beefcake: Only in the erotic "Santa Baby" number.  I couldn't even find shirtless shots of the male cast members.

Heterosexism: Not really.  Hetero-romance is minimal. Even the common cliche of the Last Couple surviving the Apocalypse is disrupted by the presence of a third person in the escape car.

My grade: B.