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Sep 14, 2023

What is a Danny Thomas?

February 6th, 1969, a cold, snowy Thursday.  I am eight years old.  The family is watching a lot of tv about girls:  The Flying Nun, That Girl, Bewitched. 

The Flying Nun is interesting because it's about nuns -- Catholics -- and Nazarenes are supposed to run away in horror.  But Mom and Dad don'tseem to care if we watch.  Also the Skipper from Gilligan's Island visits as Sister Bertrille's uncle.

Then comes That Girl, starring Marlo Thomas as an aspiring actress/women's libber in a bright, colorful New York.  Ann Marie tries to push a new friend into a singing career, but she is planning to become a nun instead.

Two shows about Catholics in one night!  What would the Preacher say?  (I mean,what would the Preacher yell?). I feel a little thrill of naughtiness.  I can't wait to tell my boyfriend Bill tomorrow!

We even get a glimpse of the inside of the convent.  Ann Marie gets lost in the vast Gothic space, and asks a passing priest for directions.

My jaw drops.  The priest is stunning!  All dressed in black, huge workman's hands, short black hair, tanned Mediterranean features. And in league with the Devil, dark, sinister, even more attractive, like Barnabas the Vampire on Dark Shadows.

"Excuse me, Father," Ann says.  "Which way is the exit?" The laugh track goes crazy.  I don't understand what's so funny about calling a  priest "Father" -- Catholics always do it.

"Down that hallway."

"Thank you, Father."

"You're welcome, my daughter."  The laugh track goes crazy again.  Years later I figured out the joke: the priest was played by Marlo Thomas's real-life father, Danny Thomas (1913-1991).

Born Amos Muzyad Yaqoob Kairouz to a family of Lebanese immigrants, Danny Thomas worked on radio before becoming a fixture of 1950s tv with his sitcom Make Room for Daddy (1953-64).  Like Ricky Ricardo on I Love Lucy, Danny Williams was a nightclub singer balancing home and work lives  I never saw it, but I heard that Angela Cartwright, Penny on Lost in Space, played his daughter.

After Make Room for Daddy and its sequel, Make Room for Granddaddy (1970-71), Danny made only sporadic tv appearances: guest spots on Here's Lucy , McCloud, and Dick Van Dyke.

On Dick Van Dyke, he plays an alien invader who just happens to look like the famous comedian, thus giving us the timeless line "What is a Danny Thomas?"

His last starring role was in the short-lived One Big Family (1986-87), basically Make Room for Grandaddy with the addition of then-teen hunk Michael DeLuise.

An aging comedian from the days of the Chinese-laundry and mother-in-law jokes, Danny felt increasingly out of touch with the social, political, and sexual changes of the 1970s, so he produced a number of unsold "things were better in the old days" tv series pilots.  Most were burned off as tv movies:

Remember When (1974): Happy Days, but set during World War II.

Starting Fresh (1979): Alice, but the young widow has a daughter, not a son, and finds love.

Featherstone's Nest (1979): Make Room for Daddy,but with a dentist, not a nightclub singer, starring a pre-Mama's Family Ken Berry.


Danny devoted most of his time to promoting various charities, especially St.Jude Children's Hospital, which he founded in 1960.

Daughter Marlo is a gay ally, but Danny, not so much.  When she was starring in Consenting Adult, about a mother dealing with her son's coming out, Marlo noted that her father...um... voted for Ronald Reagan, 1980s code for "homophobic."  (Not to worry, the St. Jude Children's Hospital welcomes LGBTQ patients and their caregivers).

Not much of a gay connection, except for that one cold, snowy night in 1969, when a young boy in the Midwest felt a frisson of homerotic desire while watching That Girl.

Well, wouldn't you?  Just look at him!

See also: That Girl

5 comments:

  1. LMAO at that title!

    Sounds like something Millenials and Gen Z would say.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To be fair, I recently saw a meme of Harley Quinn using alt right speak. In the Birds of Prey movie at least, she voted for Bernie.

      Delete
  2. I loved That Girl! I wish they'd remake it.

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    Replies
    1. Marlo Thomas and Ted Bessell discussed doing a reunion movie, set 20 years later in the Reagan 1980s, but nothing came of it.

      Delete
  3. I had a crush on Rusty Hamer who starred in Make Room For Daddy and often wondered if he was gay.

    ReplyDelete

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