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Aug 21, 2020

The Top 10 Hunks of "The Umbrella Academy," Season 2

At the end of Season 1 of The Umbrella Academy, the superpowered siblings are unsuccessful at preventing the Apocalypse, so Five zaps them into the past to try again.  They appear in Dallas, in different years of the early 1960s. Each assumes that they are stranded alone, and starts a new life. Mostly with mega-hunks:

1. Allison marries civil rights activist Raymond (Yusuf Greenwood, left). Better not have kids, Allison -- you could become your own grandmother.

















2. Luther becomes a bouncer for Jack Ruby (John Kapelos), the nightclub owner who killed Lee Harvey Oswald (who, by the way, didn't assassinate President Kennedy -- someone else was standing on the Grassy Knoll).









3. Vanya, who has lost her memory, becomes the nanny to farmer Carl Cooper (Stephen Bogaert), who has an autistic son, and starts a romance with his wife Sissy.  Wow, even before the Daughters of Bilitis.  I'm surprised Sissy even knows what a lesbian is.

Sissy Cooper looks a lot like Mary Cooper on Young Sheldon, who lives in Texas in 1989. Of course, no connection is intended -- Mary's maiden name is Tucker -- it's just a weird coincidence.


4. Klaus and tagalong ghost brother Ben start a religious cult that looks rather too psychedelic for the early 1960s.  This is before Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters started passing out free LSD, after all.  Their biggest disciple is Keechie (Dov Tiefenbach)













5. Klaus also looks up future boyfriend Dave (Calem MacDonald), still a teenager working in a hardware store, to try to convince him not to enlist in the army, so he won't be killed in action later in the decade.  But he's killed because of Klaus, so if the timeline changes and Klaus isn't there...

Diego ends up in a mental hospital, where he gets a girlfriend.




6. Five ends up 10 days before the Kennedy Assassination and, coincidentally, a new Apocalypse.  Trying to find everyone so he can prevent it, he hooks up with conspiracy theorist Elliott (Kevin Rankin)










7. Meanwhile The Three Swedes, led by Kris Holden-Ried (left), are sent by the time-travel Commission to kill the siblings so they won't prevent theApocalypse.

Well, they already got the 2019 Apocalypse.  Why do they want a 1963 Apocalypse, too?  Wouldn't one preclude the other?

I've only seen three episodes, so I don't know who these other hunks are playing:






8. Dewshane Williams as Miles
















9. Jonathan Malen as Ned.












10. Ryan Taerk as "White Man #1"

Well, a job is a job.  And it got him a starring role in the upcoming Communist's Daughter.

See also: The Umbrella Academy
















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