The X-Men, in the Marvel comic and film series, are mutants with superpowers. Some powers mimic those of standard superheroes: the ability to fly, teleport, move super-fast. Others are just bizarre: the ability to control metal, or to look at someone (or their photo) and turn into an exact replica, all the way down to the fingerprints. The 13 movies to date are set in a vast stage, from the distant past to the far future, from northern Canada to Vietnam to outer space, with enormous props, like throwing an entire baseball stadium at the White House. But not the latest in the franchise, The New Mutants, which is painfully claustrophobic in its setting and cast.
In the first scene, Native American teenager Dani Moonstar (Blu Hunt) is awakened by her father and forced to flee into the woods to escape a gigantic snarling, red-eyed "tornado." She loses consciousness, and awakens in the Facility, a sort of mental hospital where mutants learn to recognize and control their powers.
The Facility is huge; there are dozens of buildings, including a church and a gym with an Olympic-sized swimming pool. But there are only five residents:
1. Dani, who doesn't know what her power is.
2. Rich Brazilian Berto (Henry Zaga, left), who bursts into flame like the Human Torch whenever he gets excited.
3. Scottish girl Rahne, pronounced "Rain" (Maisie Williams), who can turn into a wolf.
4. Kentucky coal miner's son Sam (Charlie Heaton), who can propel himself as a fiery human cannonball.
5. Obnoxious Russian Illyana (Anya Taylor-Joy), whose arm develops armour and sprouts a flaming sword (these powers seem rather redundant). She can also go to limbo, where her puppet becomes a fire-breathing dragon, and see mysterious monsters called the Smiling Men, but those might not be superpowers.
And only one staff member, Dr. Reyes (Alice Braga), who runs the group therapy sessions, conducts weird experiments, and keeps them under 24-hour surveillance.
So many questions. Why a huge facility for just five patients? Who does the cooking? Who cleans the swimming pool? What do the patients do all day, after their single group therapy session. If they've been there awhile, why to they keep asking each other "What's your story?" sorts of questions, a if they have just met? When does Dr. Reyes eat and sleep?
Dani starts a romantic relationship with Rahne. Sam and Berto buddy bond. Berto flirts with Illyana (Sam doesn't seem to be interested in girls.) They have group therapy, play foosball, and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer on tv. And, as on Nightmare on Elm Street, dreams come to life.
Sam relives the blast that killed his Dad and some other coal miners.
Berto has sex with Illyana, but she morphs into a flaming monster.
Father Craig, who branded Rahne with a "w" because he thought she was a witch, returns and brands her again.
Illyana's Smiling Men appear and start chasing them.
Spoiler alert:
It turns out that Dr. Reyes is working for an evil corporation that wants mutants trained as fighting machinese. Those who learn to control their powers "graduate" to become assassins. Those who don't get "terminated."
And Dani's power, of course, is bringing your "worst fears" to life." Including, finally, the Demon Bear that destroyed her village (which she may have created herself with another power; it's not clear).
So many movies begin with people escaping from Facilities that I expected Dani and the other patients to escape after about ten minutes and jaunt off on a caper. Maybe ending up in Guatemala or Egypt. With Dr. Xavier or Wolverine making cameo appearances. Nope, they vanquish Dr. Reyes (who turns out to be a mutant herself) and escape. Seeing "the end" was extremely unsatisfying. Wait -- the movie is just starting...nothing has happened yet...
Plus I found the redundant powers trite, conventional, boring. Mutant powers can literally be anything. Magneto can kill you by pulling all the iron from your cells. So why make them all about playing with fire?
The Smiling Men were interesting, but never explained.
Gay Characters: Raine and Dani. Maybe Sam.
Beefcake: Berto doesn't seem to own a shirt.
My Grade: D.
I've actually watched the movie The New Mutants when it came out, and... It was okay, but nothing special. 😏 Guess it wasn't made for me but for younger guys & girls. 🤷♂️
ReplyDeleteShould be noted Blu Hunt is white. Hollywood has diversified its non-Indians playing Indians in recent decades: Crusoe featured a black Friday, Booboo Stewart is Chinese. This is diversity, as applauded by white liberals.
ReplyDeleteI never liked the Demon Bear storyline. In the comic, it's some neo-Nazis attacked and taken to a pocket universe by a bear spirit who represents Indians, and after being rescued, they become Indians as a mark of their sins. Just, okay, there's a lot to unpack here: White desire to be Indians, whiteness as a Mormonesque state pure of sin, you know? I think I'll just burn this bag instead.
The comic also has James Proudstar, brother of the racial slur-spouting suicide John Proudstar. I hate John Proudstar. He's basically all the worst 90s clichés (I mean, he's basically Killowat [sic] in terms of personality, and since Killowat's a pawn of the Monarch, who was brought back in Battle for Blüdhaven to be a villain in Countdown, yeah, Six Degrees of Countdown remains true.) in the 70s. James is more complex, see? He was a bad guy for a while, trying to get revenge on Xavier. This led him to Empath. When he found out the truth, he stayed with the ironically named Empath (Psychics are always the worst. You should see Silver Age Xavier. Or Raven. I mean, somehow Zatanna gets off the hook for everything in Identity Crisis.) to spare the other Hellions Empath's wrath, until Empath was defeated and the teams merged. Until Liefeld split them into X-Factor, led by Havok, and X-Force, led by Cable. And because Rob Liefeld somehow became an art movement, James increasingly becomes more Liefeld until he's a seven-foot hulking monstrosity. Oh, also, stereotype powers, inukchuk! But he somehow has a huge fandom online.
Ilyana is probably the most interesting New Mutant. She's Marvel's version of Raven, and there are entire (often lighthearted) arcs about her as the Queen of Hell. So, naturally she contracts the Legacy Virus, mutant AIDS, but it's airborne. It only affects mutants, engendering stigma, until it starts affecting conventional humans, engendering fear, so, yeah, mutant AIDS. Writers even said they wouldn't cure it until there's a cure for AIDS, which is almost as misinformed as Jim Starlin lobbying to give Jason Todd AIDS (An aside: The writers settled on Jimmy Olsen, but the actor who played Jimmy Olsen in the 50s was out as gay and HIV-positive, so DC shelved it and wouldn't discuss AIDS again until Green Arrow introduced the new Speedy Mia Dearden, leading to both Jason and Roy Harper saying that could be them, and a popular fan theory that Jason was a prostitute before Batman found him.) so he never had to write Robin again. Needless to say, they cured it anyway.
Anyway, where's Xian? You know, the leader of the New Mutants? Why no CGI Warlock? Empath? And if comic book movies have to be Liefelded to death, as Hollywood apparently thinks, at least include Shatterstar and his father (who is also his son) Longshot.