"The Unremarkable Juanquini": Effeminate Heterosexuals or Gay Men Afraid to Come Out

 The Unremarkable Juanquini (Chichipatos), a Netflix comedy series set in Colombia.  Juanquini (Antonio Sanint) is flamboyantly feminine, with mascara, lots of rings and fluttering hands, so I assume that he's a drag queen. 

One source tells me that a chichipato is  someone who goes to gay bars and cruising areas but is shy about hooking up.  So there must be some gay representation here.

Scene 1:  Turns out that Juanquini is not a drag queen; he's a cut-rate magician, entertaining the kids at a tiny tot party along with his bored, cell phone-checking assistant. One of the fathers looks on, snarling.  Oddly, he also has lots of rings and fluttering hands. Cut to a van, where the police have him under surveillance.  They're going in for an arrest in five minutes!

The kids are bored by the banal disappearing-coin trick, so Juanquini tries the "magic blindfold."  Catcalls.  He goes backstage and tells his teenage son, Sami (Julian Cerati, who gets top billing on IMDB) that he's on.  His extremely masculine wife consoles him (Wait -- he's not gay?  It's Lyle the effeminate heterosexual!).  

Meanwhile, Ortiz (Cristian Villamil), a cop disguised as a waiter, rushes through the labyrinth of hallways and ends up outside.  Har-har. (This may not be the right one; it comes from a website saying "70+ Linkedin Profiles for Cristian Villamil").

Scene 2:  Flamboyantly feminine teenage son Sami (it must run in the family) is playing the accordion and singing about lost love:"You left me with my sorrow.  Oh, the pain!"  It obviously doesn't go over well with the preteen audience.  

Meanwhile, Bad Guy finds out about the police, and thinks that Juanquini set him up.  "Who hired the magician?  I want to know everything about him."

Scene 3:  Home.  While Juanquini cooks in a fluttering apron, daughter Monica and her flamboyantly feminine friend or other brother Lucho (El Mindo) talk to Mom about their new business idea, exporting sponge gourd loofas: "Everybody uses soap.  This product will make us billionaires in less than six months!"

Meanwhile, son Sami is distraught over a girl who rejected him: "Without her, I'll die.  My soul will dry up."  (Geez, with so many flamboyantly feminine guys around, you'd think one of them would be gay).

Scene 4: Juanquini overhears his kids criticizing him: "Dad is a mediocre magician!"  This is apparently the first time anyone has criticized him, and he's crushed.  He researches his magic book, looking for a good act.  How about a disappearance?  He practices on Sami's pet cat, and makes it disappear...forever.

Scene 5:  Sami is distraught.  "Where's my cat?  Tell me, or I'll set the house on fire!"

Later, Mom is preparing missing-cat posters, when Bad Guy's assistant calls to book Juanquino at a party this afternoon.  Bad Guy (actual name: Nato Orduz) reveals that he's planning "a surprise" (cue evil laugh).

Cut to Ortiz, the cop who flubbed his capture earlier, running through the police station, excited over new intel: A big party to celebrate the second anniversary of Bad Guy's drug exports to the U.S. 

Scene 5: Sami in bed, depressed over the loss of his girlfriend and his cat.  They have to get him up in time for the act!  Meanwhile, Monica's friend Lucho arrives with a truckload of sponge gourds for their new export business.    

Scene 6:  The party, at a mansion in the country (Geez, Juanquino is wearing about 50 rings.  How does he fit them all onto his fingers?).  Real Colombian pop star Andy Rivera is performing with some girls in skimpy outfits.  More girls in skimpy outfits on the floor, dancing with guys with guns.  No kids around.  Not at all the kind of party Juanquini is used to performing at.

The Assistant leads Juanquini to the hot tub on the roof, where Bad Guy is kissing the boobs of two bikini girls (he's got his shirt off, but believe me, you don't want to see it ).  Juanquini figures out that he's a drug lord and wants out, but Bad Guy insists that he perform.

Scene 7: They wait while Andy Rivera sings the same song over and over.  Meanwhile, a caravan of cops arrives.

Finally it's time for Juanquini's act.  He tries the magic coin trick/ The gangsters jeer:  "Do a trick worth our time, or tell the babe to take her clothes off!"  He tries to cancel the show and leave; all of the men pull out guns and start shooting.  Rather bad shots for gangsters; Juanquino manages to run into the kitchen and hide.  

Bad Guy calms everyone down and orders Juanquino to do a "shocking trick."  How about the disappearance?  Bad Guy volunteers.  Wait -- I thought he just invited Juanquini to perform in order to kill him.  He acts like a true believer.

The trick works!  Bad Guy disappears, just like the cat!  But when the gangsters call for Juanquini to bring Bad Guy back, he can't do it. (Geez, the gangsters are all wearing multiple rings, too!)

At that moment, the police burst in and arrest everyone.  They want to know what happened to Bad Guy.  Was Juanquini complicit in his escape? The end.

Beefcake: No.

Half-Naked Girls: Lots.

Gay Characters: Not that I could tell, in spite of the name chichipatos.  I went through a few later episodes on fast forward, just in case, but every guy seems to get a girlfriend eventually, even the cop.

Effeminate Heterosexuals: 4

Severe Over-Acting: Lots.

My Grade: D.