"On the Verge": Boys Who Wear Lipstick and Try on Mom's Shoes, but No Boy Named Gaga

 

The trailer for the "gal pal" sitcom On the Verge had Mom dropping off her kids at Dad's apartment for what is apparently the first weekend visit after a breakup.  Daughter says that she showed Gaga where to sleep, while the parents are talking about "breaking our son's heart," no doubt through the divorce.

Wait -- their son is named after Lady Gaga, the singer? 

On the Verge is about four middle-aged women who have been friends for many years in spite of their disparate life trajectories: "a chef, a single mother, an heiress, and a job seeker."  Now they are facing their midlife crisis with new jobs, new interests, and new relationships.  

I guess.  The series got a 5.5 rating on IMDB.  One review says "I feel insulted...feminism took three giant leaps backward."  Decider says "Skip it!"  But I still want to see if there are any hunks, and if the Boy Named Gaga is actually gay.  .I watched Episode #7, "The Human Condition."

Scene 1: Tight closeup of Yasmin's face and hands as she takes a call and shreds documents.  Tight closeup of her butt as she hides the cellphone amid the boots in her closet.  Extremely wealthy -- she must be the heiress.

Scene 2: "My boys are home!"  Yasmin's husband William (Timm Sharp) and preteen son return from a trip.  She greets them in Farsi -- so they're Iranian -- and kisses her kid on the mouth! Gross!  I know that it happens in some cultures, but still, it turns my stomach.

They had fun on their trip; the son, Orion  (Jayden Hayness-Starr) met a boy who's a prince.  A new boyfriend?  Yasmin disapproves -- he's not supposed to be meeting "the 0.001 percent."  

Scene 3: I thought it was two women in bed together.  No, it's Yasmin in bed with her son.  Looks like he's naked under the covers!  Ok, I get that some mother-son relationships have sexual undertones, but this is an overtone!   Gross!  Sick!  Disgusting!   

Orion wonders why Yasmin is not gloomy and miserable, like usual.  She covers her Big Secret of the shredded documents and hidden cell phone --- "Oh...um.....I'm just happy to see you, My Love." Then she kisses him on the eye and leaves. At least she doesn't shove her tongue down his throat again.

Scene 4:  Yasmin drops Orion off at school and hugs and kisses another mother, the Chef,  I think.  They see the blatantly bulging John (Sean Carrigan, top photo) and hide: "Oh my God, he's such a jerk!  Who knew that he was a Dad here?"  

He sees them and approaches.  "I'm sorry my son Andy accidentally hit  you with a ball.  Can I do anything to help?"  "No, thanks, the doctor at the ER said it was fine."

Next a teacher talks to them.  The Chef's husband Martin has agreed to sketch the set for a school play, so why doesn't The Chef show any interest whatever in her kid's activities?  "Oh...um...I've been busy with my restaurant."

Scene 5:  The Heiress, who look exactly like the Chef, having lunch with her officious, overbearing mother.  I hate it when tw series cast two actors who look identical.  They don't have the cocktail Mom likes -- wine and beer only -- so she has a tantrum.  The n the Heiress and Mom argue over opening a new factory in Manila.  Even wealthier than Yasmin!  But I think everyone on the show is wealthy.  

Next the Heiress reveals that she and her husband have broken up.  Mom is shocked.

Scene 6: The Chef  in couple's therapy without her husband.  The therapist wants to reschedule, but she goes on, pretending to be her husband with a finger-moustache: "You're a terrible mother who is going to ruin our son's life."  I'm seeing a pattern here.  They're all terrible mothers.

Scene 7:  The Heiress goes to work at the clothing company.  Her workers tell a story about when her son Seb was born, the Heiress and her husband didn't want him circumcized according to Jewish tradition, so Mom grabbed him and rushed him to a mohel in an Uber (against his  parents' wishes?  That's awful!).  "It was awful," the Heiress agrees.  "For the first year my husband couldn't look at Seb's penis without crying."  So, he spends a lot of time looking at his son's penis?

Scene 8:  The Single Mom walks through her messy house (mess equals working class?) to complain to two boys playing video games. They start fighting.  The older has the same hair as Orion, Yasmin's boyfriend/son.  A dog named Puddles humps Single Mom's leg.   A daughter, who also has Orion-hair, complains that she can't study with all the ruckus.

The younger boy, Kai, starts singing: "He has his lipstick!  He has his lipstick!"  So, the older boy, Oliver (Duke Cutler) is into makup?

The fathers of the boys (Brady Smith, someone not on IMDB) arrive to pick them up.  I don't see any makeup on Oliver.

Scene 9:  Yasmin looks for the cell phone she hid among her shoes earlier.  She has 2,000 pairs.  Whoops, it's gone! Orion has appropriated it to use in a spaceship model he's building.  How did he find it among Yasmin's shoes?  Was he trying them on?  

Yasmin tries to get Orion out of the living room so she can retrieve the phone.  Then her husband wants to take a photo of the spaceship, but she insists that he can't put it on the internet, because it would attract sexual predators to their son.  Wait -- why does she care?  Why would a cell phone reveal her Big Secret?

Dad and Orion discuss why Yasmin is so inexplicably happy, and worry that she'll sink down into depression again immediately.  So she's bipolar?

Scene 10: At the restaurant, the Chef talks to her coworker, Jerry (Giovanni Ribisi).  They're worried about Single Mom.  How does she manage to pay her bills?  

Sceme 11: The Heiress keeps calling her estranged husband, George, and gets his voice mail.  When he finally answers, she yells at him: "Why didn't you pick up?" It was the middle of the night?  He was asleep?  "Are you fucking other people?"  He says "Don't be vulgar" and hangs up.

She hangs up, goes onto a dating app, and swipes the hottie Sam (Evan Holtzman). 

Scene 12:  Flashback to their date.  Sam reveals that he hates tomatoes.  I hate tomato sauce -- too sweet to go on pasta, but not sweet enough to go on ice cream.   Later, they have sex doggy style while Sam tells his Alexa app to play something romantic. 

Scene 13: At breakfast at the Chef or the Heiress's house, a new adult character named Gretchen bursts into tears and runs out of the room.  Who casts two women with straggly blond hair and glasses?  How can anyone hope to tell them apart?  The Chef/Heiress follows to ask what's wrong.  "Do you miss your family?"  No,   

"Did you have sex with my estranged husband?"  That won't help.  Both the Chef and the Heiress have estranged husbands.

"Yuck, no!  I'm pregnant.  I don't know who the father is.  There's been so many guys, usually two a week."  Girlfriend, I can do twice that many before breakfast.

Scene 14: The Chef writing in her supply closet.  She chooses her home office instead.  Much better!  Her son, who also has Orion hair (who casts three kids with the same scraggly hair? I guess so they will look like their mothers?), tells her that Dad will be waking up soon.  She writes about the Human Condition, the void inside us that we fill with food: "Eat life before it eats you." The end.

Beefcake:  The husbands are all unattractive, and the sons are all preteens -- which seems odd for women approaching 50.  When my Mom turned 50, I was well into my 20s.  John has sex with his shirt undone -- not off.

Heterosexism: All of the women are married to men.  

Terrible Mothers:  Lots.  Three of the four central characters, plus the Heiress's Mom.

Gay Characters: Probably not, but I'm wondering about Orion snooping among the shoes in his mother's closet, and the jibe about Oliver wearing lipstick.  

And whatever happened to the boy named Gaga?