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Jan 17, 2022

"Grand Blue Dreaming": A World Where Boys Who Like Girls are "Perverts"


Grand Blue Dreaming 
 is a Japanese anime series about a boy who joins a diving club called Peek-a-Boo.  I'm not joking.  And check out the Episode 5 plot synopsis: Iori and Kohei attend class in their underwear like normal, but everyone glares at them with a bloodthirsty look in their eyes! It's because they heard that Iori and Chisa are dating! Sensing their lives are in danger, Iori and Kohei offer to setup a mixer."  In what universe is it "normal" to attend class in your underwear?  Or to be in danger of being killed because you're dating someone?  Same-sex couples are often attacked by homophobes; could Iori and Chisa be gay?

Scene 1: Iori and Kohei, both boys, black-haired and blond, respectively, in a classroom full of grunting, glaring older men with blank zombie-eyes.  They wonder why they are getting so much antagonism.  Suddenly the camera pulls back to show that they are in their underwear!  

Iori asks why they are glaring, and they grunt "We're going to kill you, jerk!"  

Kohei thinks that this bloodthirsty rage is a bit odd.  Iori disagrees, but offers to help him investigate the mystery.  

They decide to ask Chisa, the only girl in the class, who also appears to be in her underwear.  She doesn't know.

Suddenly they get a note: "Break up with Chisa, or we'll kill you."  But Iori and Chisa aren't even dating!

Kohei asks if he's involved.  The gang grunts: "No, we're just after the perverted bastard."  He tries to leave, but Iori convinces the gang to hate him, too, by accusing him of dating a girl named Azuka.  Way to betray your friend!  Is this a world where being gay is hegemonic, and heterosexual romances are deviant?


Intro:
Establishing shots of muscular guys running into the surf.  Close-ups of girls' boobs and butts.  Undersea divers.  A voice over tells us to "Dive into the sky, shine bright with the sun," or something.

Scene 2:  Iori and Kohei in the cafeteria, looking over the dozens of threatening letters they have received.  Two swishy guys (black hair with glasses, red hair) approach and suggest that they've been getting threats because "You aren't normal."  They offer to help, in exchange for Iori and Kohei teaching them how to use hypnosis to get girlfriends.  Wait -- I thought having a girlfriend made you a "pervert" and "not normal."  Why do the Swishy Pair want to become "perverts"?

But the guys don't know hypnosis, so the Swishy Pair return to their gang, grunting and threatening: "Where shall we bury their bodies?"

They approach with rope to tie the guys up and shovels to bury the bodies.  Iori protests that he's not dating Chisa, but they don't believe him.  "You're just saying that so we won't kill you!"

As they dig the hole to bury them, Iori and Kohei get an idea: "If you let us live, we'll organize a mixer, so you can meet some girls!"

Scene 3:  The guys prostrate themselves before Azusa (a purple-haired girl), and ask to be introduced to a girl, so they won't be killed.  Wait -- don't they need several girls for a mixer with the murderous gang?  She agrees, on the condition that Iori act like Chisa's boyfriend.  But that's what got him all the death threats.


Scene 4:
The guys are now fully clothed.  No explanation of why they went to class in their underwear. Azusa arrives with a blue-haired girl.  The guys are outraged. "Not her!  Absolutely not!  She's Cakey!"   But they don't have a choice.  

Scene 5:  The day has finally come.  The guys still grumble about letting Cakey handle the mixer.  The Swishy Pair appears, still irate about Iori dating Chisa, but they will just beat him up, not kill him, now that he's going to introduce them to girls.

One of the Swishy Pair wants to set up a signal system -- point your chopsticks at the girl you like, so there won't be a big competition-- but the other doesn't care.  Sex is sex; the girl's appearance is irrelevant.  

"We're going to a new world!" the guys shout as they burst into the restaurant and see...four heavily made-up girls!  They see that one is Cakey, and rebel: "Not her!  No way!  Absolutely not!"  But there are four boys and four girls, so someone has to get Cakey.

The girls introduce themselves.  Girl 1 likes horse racing and pachenko.  "Nope!  Nope! Absolutely not!", the guys squeal.  

The game has changed; now it's getting the redhead laid. First step: get the girls to use their first names.  The girls refuse: that might suggest that they're "easy." 

Whoops, Iari starts flirting with one of the girls.  The others are irate; how can he claim victory and leave them behind?   Kohei ruins his chances by claiming that he has a girlfriend -- a mixer taboo!  


Scene 6: 
 Dinner is over, and none of the girls has agreed to sex!   In fact, they walk away laughing at the boys: "It was like a zoo!"  The boys collapse in agony at their humiliating defeat.   

The girls report back to Azusa: "Yes, we humiliated them.  They learned their lesson."

Meanwhile, the guys are in their underwear again, getting drunk, blaming each other for the debacle.   The end, except for a final song that may or may not be part of the episode.

Beefcake: Guys in their underwear all the time.

Hetero-phobia:  Apparently a boy who gets a girlfriend is a "pervert," but all of the boys are desperate to get girlfriends anyway.   Well, first it's the entire gang, then just the Swishy Pair, then just the redhead, then everyone again.

WTF:   The premise seems to change minute by minute.  Weird things happen with no explanation. Why were the boys in their underwear?  Why did the gang want to murder them?  Why did the number of boys wanting to meet girls change?  Why did the goal of the mixer change?  What's wrong with "Cakey"?  

And, in a series about a diving club, why was there no diving?

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