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Mar 7, 2022

"Back to Fifteen": No Adult or Teen Beefcake, But a Trans Best Friend in this Brazilian Comedy-Drama

 Researching Back to 15, the new Netflix Brazilian comedy-drama about a 30 year old who travels back in time to relive her teenage years, resulted in superlatives: "the most anticipated Netflix show of the year!", "a stellar cast!", "an intriguing premise."  

Intriguing?  I've seen Back to the Future.  But I'll take a look.


Scene 1:
Establishing shot of a beautiful red-roofed town in the mountains of Brazil, 2006.  Anita, in her pastel-colored girly-girl room, is overjoyed because she has successfully created her own video blog.  She puts on her pink girly-girl shoes, and flashes her multi-spangled girly-girl fingers over the keys, writing that she likes kittens, rainbows, Paris, perfume, and the movie Amelie.  

"When will I be an adult, so I move out of this horrible small town and can start living my life?" she moans.  Like buy more pink accessories?

Too... much... girlness.... getting...faint...quick, somebody show me a bicep! Or a penis.  Or a football.

Whew, that's better.

Scene 2:  2021.  The 30-year old Anita, still in girly-girl pink sneakers, awakens in a horrible apartment with the same decor as her old room.  She's in the big city of Sao Paulo, but nothing has changed: she has no job, no boyfriend, no friends.  Mom calls: It's sister Luiza's wedding day, and she can't be late.  Plot dump: her Dad is dead, and Anita hates her sister for having a perfect life, while she's a flop at adulting.


Scene 3:
Anita at the pre-wedding reception, being all floozy, boozy, and sarcastic.  (Gay couple sighting: two guys alone at a table).  All the people she hated in high school are there, including the Groom, Douglas; the Three Bullies; and the sleazy Fabrizio (Bruno Montaleone, left), who says "Face it, your life is pretty shitty. Mine is, too."

Former best friend Henrique is now "surprisingly hot," although his adult life is horrible, too: he had to give up on his dream of becoming a musician.  Ten to one Anita hooks up with him when she goes back to the past. 

More desperate lives: Cousin Carol had to give up her dream of coaching handball when her (abusive?) husband Eduardo disapproved; meanwhile Eduardo hits on every women in sight, including Anita.  But no one in town says anything.

Finally Anita's hatred boils over, and she yells at all the wedding guests, while they stare in shock and film her on their cell phones.  Then she runs up to her old room, which has has not changed at all, lies on the bed, and asks "Where did things go wrong? I was happy once..."  All alone in the moonlight, I can smile at the old days -- I was beautiful then.  Once I knew what happiness was....Sorry, wrong show.  "If only I could undo the last 15 years and start over..."

She turns on her old desktop computer and tries to log into her old video blog. Zap!  She's 15 again!

Scene 4:  While Anita is freaking out, her 15-years-younger sister Luiza comes in: time for school!  Assuming that this is a weird lucid dream, she dresses and follows Luiza out the door.  She marvels at the ancient world of her childhood: the cars!  The clothes!  Bubblegum ice cream!  The naked performance artist!  What's wrong with this small town?  It looks like a nonstop Carnival.  

It's the first day of high school, traditionally "hazing day," where the older kids laugh, point, and yell at selected new students, thus scarring them for life.  Ana cringes, remembering the insults: "You're a freak!  A monster!  So hideous!  You should wear a bag on your head!  No one will ever love you!"  

Scene 5:  They reach the high school. Anita's best friend Henrique and cousin Carol join her, all upset over the hazing they will receive today: "We're going to die!  They'll rip us apart!"  But the adult Anita has a plan: hide.

Henrique and Anita decide to hide in the video library, where no one ever goes, but Cousin Carol opts for the courtyard.  As she runs past, Eduardo her future husband claims her: "That one's mine."   He then ridicules his friend Joel for being a virgin.  

Scene 6:  Henrique and Anita wander the stacks in the deserted library.  They see a boy-girl couple making out.  "How stupid!" Anita sneers.  Henrique reluctantly agrees: "Who'd want to kiss anyone?  It's gross!"  

They sit in the stacks, where Henrique gets all goofy-eyed with absurdly over-acted hetero-horniness.  Anita, ignoring his absurdly obvious obsession, gets all goofy-eyed over the memory of VHS tapes, which apparently they still used in Brazil in 2006.  They make a date to watch actual VHS movies that night.   Her body is 15, but her mind and experiences are 30.  Hooking up doesn't sound ethical.  

I get bored and fast forward through Henrique's interminable bad flirting.


They are interrupted by another student hiding, Cesar (Pedro Vinicius), a boy with a girl's hairstyle.  He points out that for him, every day is hazing day.  Even his brother, Sleazy Fabrizio,  bullies him (the plot thickens!).  Plus he has a boyfriend online who lives in town, but uses a fake profile and won't give his real name.  I'll bet it's Joel the Virgin.

Scene 7: Cousin Carol is hiding in the courtyard (next to the snack counter? not smart).  The three bullies approach and offer protection, but her three "nerdy friends" (Anita, bff Henrique, and Cesar) are grabbed for hazing.

The students gather in a circle to watch, laugh, and point while the three bullies hurl insults.  But the 30-year old Anita turns the tables and insults the bullies instead.  Although she includes some references to their future lives that they don't understand, they are crushed.  She gets an ovation from the students who had gathered around to laugh and point; apparently they just wanted to see someone insulted.  

Scene 8:  After school.  Cousin Carol and BFF Henrique go off, leaving Anita and Cesar, who offers to give her a makeover.  They get their ears pierced and take a selfie -- 2006 style, with a camera (remember those?).  

Scene 9: Back home, Anita posts the selfie on her video blog.  And Zap!  She's back to the future, in her old room on the day of her sister's pre-wedding reception!  Cesar comes in -- now Camilla  -- and congratulates Anita on her lovely speech.  She still has pierced ears -- it wasn't a dream!  Now everyone loves her,  and Camilla is her best friend, just because she made some minor changes to the events of a day 15 years ago.  Whew, butterfly effect!  The End.


Beefcake:
None.  I checked the adult and teenage versions of Fabrizio, Henrique, Joel, and Eduardo, and found only one beefcake photo.  Two, if you count this photo from Paulo Muccheroni's instagram. (I don't know who he plays)

LGBTQ Characters: Cesar is transgender.  Maybe Joel is gay.  

Heterosexism:  Hey, Henrique, Anita is your best friend.  That means you are comfortable with her.  Why the jaw-dropping hetero-horny longing, as if you have just now seen the Girl of Your Dreams  waking in slow motion across the yard?

Will I Keep Watching: I definitely want to know how each zap into the past will change Anita's world in the present.  And if Cesar finally meets his internet boyfriend.

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