"The Villains of Valley View": Classic Disney Teencom about a Supervillain Family in Hiding

 

A sitcom commonplace sends people with magical or arcane powers to live in the mundane world, where "my secret"-type gay subtexts abound.  But usually they are the good guys.  In the Disney teencom The Villains of Valley View (2022-) they're villains; a family of supervillains in hiding. Can I still hope for gay subtexts?

Scene 1: The nuclear family watching tv: mom, teenage son (Reed Horstman, below), teenage daughter, preteen son.  Dad (James Patrick Stewart, left) brings out popcorn.  Ugh, what a cliche.  No one ever actually eats popcorn while watching tv.  

Daughter complains: "Is this what our life is now?" "Yep, this is what regular families do."  

Doorbell.  They get into fighting mode, but remember that they have to act "regular."  Mom announces what everybody knows: "It's our landlady, Cecilia, and her teenage granddaughter, Hartley."  They invite themselves in for Family Movie Night, and pepper the family with questions about where they're from and why they moved to....of all the places to hide, they picked...ugh...Texas, the worst place in the world! 

Scene 2: Flashback to Centropolis, two weeks ago.  In their evil headquarters, the 13-year old Colby (Malachi Barton) is depressed because his superpowers haven't come in yet.  In other news, Mom was passed over for the promotion to the Council of Evil Villains.  Daughter Amy (supervillain name Havoc) is so upset that she rushes out to confront the Big Boss.  

Scene 3: Landlady and granddaughter leave (in a pleasant surprise, the teenage son never once comments on her hotness).  The family discusses why they have to be incognito:  the Council of Evil Villains is after us.  They don't like deserters?  Plus their attempts to take over the world raised the ire of many superheroes, not to mention mundane law enforcement.  

Scene 4: At the high school, Amy plans to use her sonic powers to get revenge on the math teacher for giving her Fs (because her answers are all "can't read the paper of the girl next to me").  Her brother Jake (supervillain name Chaos) disapproves, because using superpowers means risking exposure.  He suggests that she become a better person by doing non-villainous things like making friends.  Just then Hartley (landlady's granddaughter) walks by.  "No way!  She's nice, and friendly, and always sees the best in people.  That's everything I despise!"

Too late: Jake pushes them together! I'm pleased that the plot arc involves Amy befriending Hartley, not Jake dissolving into a pool of hormones over her.

Scene 5: At home, Dad is fiddling with a device to trap enemies in another dimension.  He's also built a secret lair in the basement.  Mom points out that he's supposed to be retired. 

Surprise!  The 13-year old Colby finally got his superpower: he's a shape-shifter!  They all rush out to watch him use his power to "scare the pants off the locals."  

Scene 6: In the living room after school.  Jake (left) and Amy wait for Hartley to appear: "Remember, control your villain instincts.  Be...um, what's the word?  Oh, yeah: nice."  

Hartley tries to sell Amy on the Sunshine Club, a community service group with stupid hats.  Then it's time for Keeping Up with the Supes: a superhero reality program.  Her favorite is Starling, who happens to be Amy's arch-nemesis.  As Hartley continues to praise Starling and laugh at Amy's villain persona, Havoc, Amy runs into the kitchen and grabs the interdimensional trapper.  Jake tries to take it out of her hand, and...uh-oh.

Scene 7: Mom and Dad return, with Colby as a dog.  Jake and Amy explain the situation.  Suddenly Grandma Cecilia arrives, looking for Hartley.  To stall while Dad invents a device to bring her back, Mom forces Colby to shapeshift into her.  He hates being a girl, with the dress and the boobs.  Please tell me he doesn't find it humiliating.    To make matters worse, it's time for Hartley 's dentist appointment!  

Scene 8: The return-device is finished.  Someone has to go to the other dimension and rescue Hartley.  Dad asks Jake, but he refuses.  Doesn't want to save the girl?  A pleasant change of pace.  Amy volunteers, but she takes the wrong device, so she's stuck there until someone comes to save them both.

Scene 9: It's a creepy dimension full of floating boulders that intermittently hurl themselves at your head.  Amy uses her powers to destroy one, which makes Hartley realize that she's the supervillain Havoc.

Amy explains why they can't go back: after Mom failed to get the promotion, she was so upset that she used a sonic blast on Onyx, the head of the evil council!  Onyx then ordered her minions to destroy the family!

Scene 9:  Jake reluctantly rescues the girls.  They burst into the living room, but Colby/Hartley is there, too!  Seeing two of her granddaughter, Cecilia naturally becomes suspicious. But they dissimulate, and Hartley decides to keep their secret. 

Scene 10: Hartley and Amy bonding on the front porch.  What happened to the dentist appointment?

Beefcake: None.  No beefcake photos of the actors online, except, oddly, Malachi Barton.

Heterosexism: None.

Gay Characters:  Jake never expresses any heterosexual interest, but there are several girls his age in the cast list, so doubtless there was no time in an Amy-centric episode.  Amy and Hartley might have a gay subtext going on.  

A boy named Milo appears in several episodes as a snoop who suspects the family's secret.  He may be gay or gay-vague.

My Grade:  This is a classic Disney teencom, very similar to style and tone to The Wizards of Waverly Place 10 years ago.  Malachi Barton even looks like Jake T. Austin, the stand-out star of that series (left, recent photo).  There are also hints of other organized-superhero sitcoms, like The Thundermans and Henry Danger.  But this isn't really aimed at viewers who have seen those other shows.  It's for kids in junior high, who come home from school and turn on the Disney Channel, and everything is fresh and new.  I remember those day.  B

See also: The Wizards of Waverly Place