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May 27, 2023

"Intertwined": A Disney Teen Angst Dramedy about Musical Theater. Guess How Many Gay Characters

 


Intertwined, on Disney Plus, is a Brazilian teen-angst dramedy with the standard "Everybody can, and should want to, become famous" message.  The angle: the aspiring-to-musical-theater-stardom  girl keeps bouncing back between 2022, when her Mom has an irrational hatred of anything musical, and 1994, when teenage Mom wanted to become a musical-theater-star.  Anything with musical theater is bound to have some gay characters, so:

Scene 1: A teenage girl bounces over her bedroom, feeling herself and singing about how she's going to be a star.  We fade out into an elaborate set, with her dressed as Hannah Montana and singing about how she's a star already, while her female background dancers feel themselves. So far, other than the implied masturbation, she's every Disney teencom protagonist ever.

As her audience goes wild with fan exultation (Allegra!  Allegra!  Allegra!), she comes back to reality: Mom, who looks the same age, asks her to not perform mastubatory song and dance numbers at 4:00 am. "Mom, that's so unreasonable!  I'm using ear buds!"  "I don't care.  I hate music.  And take that poster of your famous singer grandmother off the wall.  I hate her, too!"

She orders Allegra to come work at the bookstore with her tomorrow, instead of doing that thing that will make all her dreams come true.  That thing is an open audition for a stage musical based on the film Freaky Friday, about a mom and daughter who switch bodies.  


Scene 2: Morning
.  Allegra's male bff Felix (Kevsho) sneaks in through the window.   He's got a project of his own, a short film which will make all his dreams come true, but he agrees to drop it and concentrate on Allegra's problem.  His part of the plan involves putting on a wig and makeup and pretending to be Allegra so she can sneak out for the audition. Won't Mom know right away? 

She scooters past various buildings and signs that will no doubt be important later, and stands in the block-long line to get into the vast audition space.  A Boy/Girl Influencer team  helpfully tell their followers what the play is about. No, Boy Influencer Alan isn't gay; he has an unrequited crush on someone named Sofia.  Plot dump: he is Felix's brother.   Got all that?


Scene 3:
Felix lying in bed as Allegra, using recorded messages to answer Mom's questions, and getting it wrong.  

Meanwhile, the Male and Female Choreographers begin the audition. Plot dump: Male Choreographer Diego (Benjamin Amadeo) is the Female Influencer's father.  The first group touch themselves while dancing to a song about making their dreams come true.  Yes, you have genitals.  How very nice for you.  The second group.  Then a girl in an orange sweater sings a solo about making her dreams come true. 

Meanwhile, Mom gets suspicious about the mysterious bulge in her daughter's bed, and investigates.  It's Felix!  She interrogates him about Allegra's whereabouts, but he plays dumb. Plot dump: He's really into science fiction and superheroes.  These are not the traits of gay guys on tv, so I'm guessing he's straight, with an unrequited crush...

Mom snoops around and finds the audition announcement, just as it's Allegra's turn to perform the "making my dreams come true" song.  The Choreographers are mesmerized by how incredibly wonderful she is.  But it's understandable, because she's the granddaughter of Coco Sharpe, the most talented singer in the world in her day.  Then Mom burst in, shrieking: "No, no, no!  Absolutely not! I will have no daughter of mine singing!  Or listening to music of any kind!  Music is disgusting!"

The Choreographers were her best friends when they were teenagers, and they are anxious to catch up, but Mom shrieks "I never knew you.  I never knew anyone associated with...ugh!...music.  I don't even know what the word 'music' means, I hate it so much."

"But...Allegra is the best singer we have heard since her Grandmother.  She's going to be world-famous!"

"Absolutely not!"  Mom drags her out and shoves her into the car. "And by the way, never mention your grandmother Coco to me.  I hate my Mother with white hot intensity!  I wish she were still alive, so I could kill her, then bring her back to life, then kill her again!"  She's not looking where she's driving, so...crash!  


Scene 4
: And Allegra unconscious in the hospital, while Mom, totally fine, cries.  Suddenly we hear "You can't go in there!", and a sunglasses lady floats into the room.  It's Mom's grandmother?   So, the mother of Coco Sharpe, whom Mom hates?  This genealogy is getting complex.  I just want to know if any of these people are gay.  

Felix (Kevsho): No.  In spite of his gay bff vibe, he's in love with Allegra.

Male Choreographer Diego (Benjamin Amadeo): No.  He's got a daughter, a sure sign of gay identity on tv.

Male Influencer (Simon Hempe, left): No, a crush on Sofia.

Marco (Jose Jiminez Zapiola, not introduced yet. top photo): No, into Allegra.

What a cop-out.  Why do they think we watch these programs?  For the songs?

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