Gemstones Episode 3.3, Continued: A fire dance, a limp wrist, a phallic sword, and Balkan sex gods.

 This is the censored version of the review, with no nude photos or explicit sexual discussions.

  Link to the nude photos and explicit sexual discussions.

Cousins' Afternoon:  The Gemstone siblings and their partners sits on cabana chairs, insulting their cousins, the Montgomery boys,  while they swim in the trout pond.   Kelvin lays on the femme stereotyping, even flashing a limp wrist.  This will be important later.

Keefe, who of course looks at men's crotches a lot, points out that Cousin Karl has a lot of pubic hair.  Kelvin quips "Looks like he's got a chinchilla up there!"  It sounds like he is making a mean joke to draw attention away from his interest in what men really have up there.

The Fire Dance: For their entertainment, Keefe performs a highly erotic fire dance in the waning light, near a path lit by a thousand fires.  I am reminded of Coleridge's "Kublai Khan":

A savage place! as holy and enchanted as e’er beneath a waning moon was haunted by a man wailing for his demon lover.

Keefe here is the demon lover, pure erotic energy, offering his mouth, butt, and penis simultaneously. He is the new Messiah of Muscle, rejecting cozy, tepid phileo, friendship, for the eros, erotic desire, that promises ecstasy or damnation.

Top photo: the real Fire Dancer

Why would anyone perform a highly erotic dance for his boyfriend's family?  What does Keefe hope to accomplish?  I think he is showing the family -- and Kelvin himself -- that he is a sexual being, Kelvin's lover, not a "good buddy." 

Early in the episode, Kelvin couldn't admit that they were lovers. Now Demon Keefe shows him that they are.   He has never been sure if his desire for Keefe will lead him to heaven or hell.  Now he knows -- both. 

Background note: The dark, disturbing music playing is "Balkan Sex God" from A Serbian Film, 2010, which regularly appears on lists of "the most disturbing films of all time."  It features Srđan Todorović as a retired porn actor drawn into starring in a snuff film. 

Todorovic dick

Cousins' Evening:  A huge dining hall, with the family and cousins using just one table, Keefe and Kelvin sitting across from each other instead of side by side!  Why does the staging back off from depicting them as a couple?

Kelvin pours on the femme stereotypes thickly, limping his wrists constantly as if he's in a 1920s pansy act, and coincidentally or not puts his "wedding ring" on full display.

Uncle Baby Billy pretends he's the host of his Bible Bonkers game show, where families compete at Bible trivia. He goes around the table and asks  each of the "contestants" their name and what they do for a living.  The Montgomery boys work in landscaping.  Then it's Keefe's turn.  He is ready to speak, but Baby Billy skips him with a rude "nuh-huh," angering him.  But it's not a homophobic snub: Baby Billy skips over BJ, too: "You ain't family."  Only born Gemstones count. 

Next it's "the weirdo boy with the puffy muscles," the second and last reference to Kelvin's physique this season, and maybe a euphemism for "gay." But Kelvin refuses to participate. 

More Balkan sex gods after the break

Lick his what?: Jesse and Cousin Chuck pair off for a question from Genesis 40, where Joseph, in prison, interprets the dreams of the Pharaoh's butler and baker.  It should be familiar even to non-Evangelical viewers from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat,  but Jesse gets the answer wrong.  The trivia contest devolves into a knife fight, which ends when Cousin Karl begins choking.  Everyone rushes to help.  Jesse yells "Heimlich his ass!"

Keefe asks "Lick his what?" Of course he has misunderstood, but the line emphasizes the interest in backsides that he has displayed all season.  Why do the writers want us to know that Keefe is a top? I can't think of any other gay character on tv whose preferred sexual position is specified.  

You never disappoint:  As he evening ends, Amber and Jessie offer to give the Montgomery Boys a ride home, identifying them as friends.

 Then we see three couples heading home and discussing sex. 

 First Baby Billy and Tiffany.  They decide to stop on the way to have sex, followed by waffles. 

Geography problem They live in Zion's Landing, in Florida.  The Florida border is nearly four hours by car from Charleston.  Are they going home tonight?  

Next, Kelvin and Keefe.  Kelvin praises Keefe's sausage dip and fire dance, and gives him some loving glances.  Keefe raises his phallic swords from their hilt, suggesting arousal, while the darkness surrounding them makes the scene very intimate.  When Kelvin says "You never disappoint," it is nearly the equivalent to "I love you," as well as a precursor to what will happen in the next episode.

Then BJ and Judy hug while singing "Gonna have some hot sex tonight."   

The couples are presented in parallel.  Although Kelvin and Keefe don't mention sexual activities, they are bookended by couples who do, making it obvious that they, too, will be "having some hot sex tonight."  Kelvin is no longer withholding sex. For the time being. The end. 

Bonus Balkan sex gods and what Baby Billy really said on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also: The family responds to Keefe's fire dance

Next. Episode 3.4: Wieners, a burning a-hole, and Kelvin at his jerkiest.  With a zombie hunk bonus.