Eastbound & Down: The water park and cocaine party episode, with some naked guys

I haven't done a review for a few weeks -- busy with work assignments, and besides, not much out there that seems promising.  But I reviewed the first episode of Eastbound & Down a long time ago, so let's see if foul-mouthed, homophobic washed-up baseball player Kenny Powers gets any character development.  I'm reviewing Episode 4.3, because it takes place in a water park.

Scene 1: The washed-up baseball player now has a wife and a boyfriend, Stevie, played by Steve Little.  They praise him for "killing it" in an interview to become a tv sports commentator.  Stevie makes a vulgar comment about the wife's vagina, which makes Kenny angry, but Stevie thinks he's over-reacting.  He's just very excited.  He eagerly punches a car window, and screams in agony at his now-broken hand. 

The wife goes home so Kenny can take care of the mess.

Scene 2: Breakfast. Even though this is only Season 4, Kenny has two five-year old kids.  He tells them that, due to his newfound showbiz fame, they're going to be rich.  He has gifts: a candle for mom, a backpack for the girl, a growling wolf for the boy: "A strong male role model, so he doesn't turn out weird." Presumably he means "gay."   Um...how about a puppy?

Scene 3: Kenny and Boyfriend Stevie arrive for his first day at his tv star job.  They brought gift baskets for the Star (Ken Marino).

Star: "Who's this handsome dude?  Is it your fuck buddy?"

Boyfriend: "I wish!"

Ok, so they're not boyfriends. A gay friend who is openly in love with Kenny, who doesn't mind because he likes the attention? This means that he's not homophobic, anyway.

Scene 4: Kenny bursts into his brother's house wearing a stocking, claiming that "ths is a home invasion."  They don't believe him.  His nephew Wayne (Bo Mitchell) is being photographed in graduation robes, but he's just getting a GED.   Kenny criticizes him for it, then gets down to business: the family is estranged, so he wants to buy their love with tickets to the Congo Canyon Resort.

They don't think he's really changed, so he rescinds the invitation: "The only people who get to get wet are people who are nice to me." 

Scene 5: Kenny bought a robot.  Wife thinks he should take it slow, but he talks her into going to the water park.

Scene 6: At the water park. No beefcake except a little of Stevie.  He looks at five preteen kids and says "Look at my family, so smiling and loyal.  They love me so much."  He has kids?  I thought he was gay, and in love with Kenny?

He passes out drinks to the gang, saying "Celebrate, don't masturbate."  Then a toast, to the new tv star, "The love of my life, Kenny Powers."  Why does he keep saying things like this?  

Kenny complains that Tel wore a speedo (obscured closeup, no bulge).  "Tel" isn't in the IMDB.  A fan blog lists a Dontel, played by Omar J. Dorsey, but Omar is tall and black, and this guy is short and Hispanic.

The ladies start to get drunk, and wonder who's looking after the kids.  Kenny points out that the water is only ankle deep; if they drown in that, they deserve to die.  Everyone is horrified.

Scene 7: Montage of several boy-girl massages, girls in bikinis in the pool, a girl in a bikini smiling seductively at Kenny, a fat guy going down a water slide. closeup of boobs, another closeup of boobs.  

More after the break

Boyfriend Stevie  swims underwater like a shark to grab Kenny's crotch,  and notices that he has a boner.   He complains that his own penis isn't working right now, and asks if Kenny has any "magic spells or dick tricks" to get aroused.  No, but he should take care of his woman's needs, regardless of his dick problems.  

Ok, so Stevie has a woman and kids, but he's interested in Kenny's dick.  Bisexual? The fan wiki mentions a "crush of sorts," but otherwise assumes that he's heterosexual.

Scene 8: On to the Star of the show complaining about the bill, the guys playing with their kids in the pool, and Kenny's wife getting drunk.  April rushes over to tell Kenny that he needs to take care of his woman.

Cut to the hotel room, where Kenny's wife is sleeping it off.  Kenny puts a movie on for the kids and heads for "a party in the lounge."  It's actually just Stevie, the Tel guy who isn't on the IMDB, and Gene, played by Tim Heidecker, all drinkng at the bar while the wives are upstairs asleep. 

The Fat Guy from th water slide earlier introduces them to his sister, the one who was gazing seductively at the pool, and asks if they want to "take the party upstairs."  Presumably he wants Kenny, too.  

Scene 9: The party upstairs: an old guy and three girls drinking behind a counter while Kenny and his friends sit together on a couch, being bored.  The Fat Guy brings out some cocaine, which scares Kenny's friends, but Kenny is into it.  Montage of everyone but Gene and Tel dancing wildly and seductively eating a banana. 

Kenny disapproves of Gene and Tel abstaining, and tries to force them, but they say "We're going to bed" and leave.  Wait -- are they a gay couple?  

No -- Kenny yells at them to not tell anyone about the cocaine party, or he'll tell their wives that they had sex with the bikini girls. 

Scene 10: The party has toned down.  Everyone is semi-conscious, divided into boy-girl couples and trios.  The Fat Guy tells Kenny that his sister wants to suck his dick. He refuses: he's married.  But he agrees to a swim.

Everyone rushes down to the pool, around 15 girls and three guys.  Closeups of girl boobs and butts as they undress. The sister tries to make out with Kenny, but he refuses: "There will be no dicks sucked tonight."

Uh-oh, security!  Everyone flees. A  lot of  girls, one guy butt.  They climb up stairs. Fifteen closeups of boobs, Fat Guy's dick and butt as he runs past.

Scene 11: Stevie the Boyfriend climbs in bed next to an elderly woman -- maybe his wife, but she's at least 20 years older than him -- and starts masturbating.  Then he remembers what Kenny said -- attend to her needs -- and starts spooning.  

Kenny climbs in bed next to his wife, then changes his mind and knocks on the Fat Guy's Sister's door, hoping for a blow job.  But this time she refuses: he has a wife and kids, it would be wrong.  

Scene 12: In the morning, he wakes up next to his wife.  They discuss how much they needed a vacation.  "And nothing bad happened," Kenny adds, sighing in regret. "Nothing at all." The end.

Beefcake: A few glimpses of unattractive guys, completely overwhelmed by endless closeups of boobs.  If I wasn't invested in writing this review, I'd have turned it off long ago.

Gay Characters: Apparently not -- all of the guys have wives -- they just act as if they are gay, presumably because the intended audience thinks it's funny.

Homophobia: Nothing definite here, but Reddit posts have pointed out that most characters, including Stevie, use homophobic slurs.

My Grade: D

See also: Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later  Stars Ken Marino

Eastbound & Down, Episode 1.1: Danny is a racist, homophobic jerk