Scene 1: Kevin gets a ride to work with his best friend, gym rat Brian (Matt Murray, below). He wonders about Don (Tony Cavalero), the guy in the back seat who is leering at him and invading his body space.
Best Friend Brian explains: "When you left me for Italy, I had to look after myself. You made me turn to the internet to find a friend. You search 'fit man seeking man,' you're going to find some crazy stuff."
The viewer is expected to interpret "crazy stuff" as "gay men," and sympathize with Brian. Creepy gay guys responded! He must have been horrified! But he just means that some of the guys who answered were not as fit as they claimed to be.
Creepy Don in the back seat points out that he and Brian are a good match, because he has only 2% body fat. "What's your body fat percentage, Kevin?" Jealous, Don?
Left: Mike Timber, a Colt model who Google Images thinks is cast member RogerTimber.
Kevin ignores him. He thinks he sees His Crush, whom he sent the awkward grand gesture to, and insists that they park in the back. We get a montage of their awkward close encounters as he tries to work in the office without running into her. "I could have lived a happy, fulfilled life if only I hadn't told her that I loved her!"
More after the break
Scene 2: When Kevin catches a ride with Best Friend Brian the next day, Creepy Don isn't there. "He's at his mom's. I'm supposed to pick him up in an hour. We're going to the driving range, and then he's going to take me to his orthotics guy (foot doctor)." Rather a random series of events for Date Night.
Actually, Brian needs a way out: he isn't interested in Creepy Don anymore, now that Kevin is back: "You're my 100%." Awww. Now how do they dump the rebound boyfriend?
Scene 3: Best Friend Brian brings Creepy Don into the office, and asks Kevin to do the break-up: "Explain to him that we are reunited, and his friendship services are no longer required." That's not what you said in bed last night, Dude.
He continues: "You and I got a bond stronger than any friend matching website can calculate."
Kevin tries to negotiate the Brian-Creepy Don breakup: "Sometimes people make choices, and they second guess, and they don't mean to hurt your feelings, but it just happens." But he's looking at Brian, who asks "Do you mean it?" Awww
Realizing that he's being dumped, Creepy Don protests: he and Brian are soul-mates, and besides, Kevin left him. You don't get a second chance.
But the guys are adamant that they belong together.
Don: "It's clear to me that I'm not going to be able to break up what you guys have, so could you add a third?" He wants a three-way romance?
Nope. "That's another website." Wait -- why couldn't they add a third person to their friend group? It's not like they're boyfriends, right?
The end. Really? That was a really flimsy plot arc
And Adrian Gonzalez
And another Mike Timber
Gay Subtext: The Brian-Kevin friendship is being framed as a romance for a joke, but the guys lack physical attraction and exclusivity. They refuse to add Creepy Don to their friendship group, but the whole series is about Kevin being in love with someone else.
Gay Character: Creepy Don is jealous of Kevin. He does not respect heterosexual men's body space. He wants an exclusive relationship with Brian, but he will accept a three-way. This all suggests that Don is gay, either in the script or as presented by Tony Cavalero. The other guys don't express any discomfort with having a gay friend, but the "creepy" presentation is still troubling.
Cavalero would go on to play Keefe, Kelvin's boyfriend on The Righteous Gemstones. Noah Reid would go on to play Patrick, David's boyfriend and eventual husband on Schitt's Creek. Sort of ironic.
See also: Schitt's Creek: Quirky small town in Canada (but don't tell anyone)
Tony's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 4: Shreds before beds, a Big Guy from Big Sky, and Nick's dick
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