Ten dudes from rejected reviews, Part 1:From Matt Bomer to Jacob Fortune-Lloyd

  

Link to the n*de dudes

I find potential movies and tv shows to review on my streaming service recommendations, the social media of actors I follow, and if I have just completed a profile of someone, like Cory Chapman or Michael Provost, their work on the IMDB.  If the premise is interesting, or there are two guys together on the icon, I might just click "play," but usually there's some research involved.

Do the episode synopses mention a same-sex friendship or rescue?  Is there minimal man-woman kissing in the trailer?  Are there any beefcake or n*de photos of the male cast members?  

Sometimes I collect n*de photos for illustrations, and then decide against the review after reading a plot synopsis or Rotten Tomatoes score, or after watching for a few minutes.  The result is a folder full of n*ked guys from rejected reviews.  I hate to delete them, so I'm posting them for their aesthetic value.

1. Adam Rayner in Tyrant: An American family drawn into the politics of a fictional Middle Eastern nation.  A gay guy eventually comes out and finds a boyfriend, who is killed,  I don't do the Bury Your Gays trope.  Next!

2. I was planning a review of "The Unicorn and the Wasp," a Doctor Who episode with gay characters, so I searched for "Christopher Tennant." 

"Christopher Benjamin" popped up,  nude on stage doing The Fairy Queen. But the full-sized photo was behind a pay wall, so I tried someone else in the cast, Robert Burt.

Except this isn't Robert Burt the stage actor. The link goes to a set of pictures illustrating the works of poet Robert Hamberger, models unknown. 

3. Turns out that the Doctor I was looking for was actually played by David Tennant.  A new search on "David Tennant" yielded Harry Lawtrey in Industry.

The British drama about job applicants in a finance firm had two gay characters, but the opening sequences were boring, so no review.  Next!

4. A reader recommended The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare for its buddy-bonding and beefcake.  As of this writing it's in theaters only, so I scanned its cast list and found Hero Fiennes Tiffin -- great name -- which led me to The Loneliest Boy in the World.  The b*y appears to be falling in love with a b*y zombie.   But it's not available on any of my streaming services. Next!

5. Depressing disease-of-the-week medical dramas are usually a resounding "No!", but The Good Doctor had a gay character played by Noah Galvin, so I researched him.  A former Hasidic Jew, conflicted, confused, self-doubting, guilt ridden, who finally gets a boyfriend -- only to have him killed on the day they become engaged.  

Before I noped out of there, I found some nude photos of Noah Galvin's real-life boyfriend, Ben Platt

More after the break

6. White Collar: Imprisoned con artist and FBI agent team up to solve crimes. The episode guide doesn't mention a woman, and has the two getting a "deepened friendship" and rescuing each other The star is Matt Bomer, who has lots of n*de photos available. So far, so good.  

I decided to review Episode 1.2, "Threads," , set during New York's Fashion Week.  An interest in fashion-- come on, these guys have to be a gay couple.

Scene 1: Establishing shot of New York.   The two walk down the street. Ulp --  Bomer double takes at two women!  Exactly as they did in the 1980s to demonstrate that the guy wasn't gay.  At Minute 0.23!

It's my fault for enthusiastically jumping in instead of conducting more research, and missing some red flags.  First, since it appeared on my recommendations, I assumed that White Collar was new -- but this episode aired in 2009!  Second, according to Wikipedia, the con artist escapes from prison to find his girlfriend, and third, the FBI agent has a wife. Next!

7. Surely the title We Are Who We Are  is referring to the gay anthem "I Am What I Am" from La Cage aux Folles.  The trailer brags about the "acclaimed director" of the gay-themed Call Me By Your Name, and shows the main character, American in Italy Fraser, gazing at and dancing with a guy while doing a lot of romantic-looking things with a girl.  So, is he gay or not?   

The actor tells us: "Fraser is not gay. He is not bi. He's attracted to who he is attracted to." OMG, in 2020, another guy who "isn't into labels."  Nope.  But at least I found a nude photo of Corey Knight.

8. Tom Goodman-Hill played the sleazy gay predator in Baby Reindeer, but I didn't find the n*de photo until I was researching Rebecca, a 2020 adaption of the Daphne du Marier novel. Surely a modern version would turn the lesbian subtext of Mrs. Danvers, the housekeeper who idolized the dead Rebecca, into text, right?

Wrong -- according to a review, this "hollow, turgid retread" actually removes the lesbian subtext altogether, heterosexualizing everyone.  Boo!

9. I watched See How They Run, a whodunit about a murder during the original run of Agatha Christie's Mousetrap, and collected some n*de photos of cast members, but  decided against a review.  

 Wait -- how could this be Reece Shearsmith, who played the middle-aged, borderline elderly Mr. Wolf?  It must be an image gaffe, someone named Ross Silversmith or something. Further research revealed that Reece was born in 1969, and showed his bum in the Britcom The League of Gentlemen, which ran from 1999 to 2002.  He's about 30 here.

10. Speaking of See How They Run, there was an original character, a slimy, sleazy, closet-quee type, who introduced his lover, Jacob Fortune-Lloyd, as his "nephew."  Yuck.  I understand that it was the 1950s, but...yuck.

No problem.  There will be a new batch of possibilities tomorrow.

See also: Cory Chapman: Lots of man friends, some gay roles, a queer buddy, n*de costars. So where's the beef?

The People We Hate at Weddings: Two sisters and their mum find love, but the gay guy doesn't. With Ben Platt.

The Sinner: Retired cop, sleazoid professor, predatory buddy, and Matt Boner...I mean Bomer