Link to the n*de photos
I fast-forwarded through the first 20 of the Christmas movies streaming on Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Hulu, and found only one with probable gay characters: Meet Me Next Christmas. Plus there are two hot guys on the icon, so there's bound to be some beefcake.
While she is waiting in the VIP lounge, James (Kofi Siriboe, top photo), a hot guy with a cancelled flight, sits next to her. Her flirting bio: she runs a charity that gives scholarships to deserving youth to attend Historically Black Colleges and Universities. She shows him a photo of Derek, who graduated from Langston College in Oklahoma last year.
Named after Langston Hughes, the Westernmost HBCU is advertised as an "excellent value," with a lot of white kids on its website. and no mention of LGBT people.
"Right now Tanner and I would be going to the Pentatonix Christmas Eve Show." You're flying on the same day as the show? Idjit!
James doesn't know what Pentatonix is, even though they've been singing all through the airport, so Layla tells him.
They decide that, if they're both single next year, they'll meet at next year's big Pentatonix Christmas Eve concert.
Scene 2: The next year, three days before Christmas, Layla is at work, busily placing students at HBCUs, when her bff calls -- not a gay guy, darn it, but she talks like a drag queen. Layla is going to pick up boyfriend Tanner's favorite dinner -- takeout Italian with a Christmas twist.
She arrives at her stunning Victorian -- in Poughkeepsie? Why not near a HBCU college? -- screams -- and a half-n*ked lady runs out, followed by a shirtless Tanner (Brendan Morgan, left). What idjit has a hookup when he knows his girlfriend will be home any minute?
Layla wants to know that too. He explains that this is the day the maid comes, so he couldn't hook up at his place. So she dumps the Italian food on his bare chest, slams the door, and looks out the window, miserable.
Scene 3: In New York, staying with her bff, Layla drinks wine and stares out onto the city. Girlfriend says that she always picks the wrong guys -- successful, muscular, well-hung -- but forgets to find out if he's into her. "Is he your ride or die?"
"Hey, maybe I can fall in love with my airport hookup from last year, James." They said they would meet at the big Pentatonix concert, but Tanner the idjit ordered Macklemore tickets this year!
No problem; they'll just go to the Rockefeller Center website and buy a ticket for Pentatonix. Sold out! "But you can go through a concierge service to get them." I thought a concierge worked in a hotel, but it's a general service that rich people use for help of all sorts, like getting sold-out tickets.
Scene 4: In New York, two days before Christmas, concierge Teddy (Devale Ellis) passes out Christmas fudge to his coworkers, and cioppino to the boss lady. I'll bet that Layla gets with him instead of James.
Layla has hired him, after sending a lot of emails and showing up at the office. His job is to get her Petatonix tickets by tomorrow night. "Your client reviews suck," Boss lady snarls,"So get this one done or you're fired."
In Teddy's office, Layla explains that she's freaking out because she's tried everything to get that ticket: Ticketmaster, Tickpick, Stubhub...none available. Girl, just text the guy and offer to meet him somewhere else.
Nothing in the company databases, but Teddy knows a guy who might have one. "He has a kiosk. I'll go get it. No, Layla wants to go with him, to make sure there are no screw-ups. And fall in love, of course.
Scene 5: Out onto the streets of Toronto masquerading as New York. The kiosk is closed, but Layla found a guy on Dave's Tickets who has a couple, and wants to meet in the Village. Tony resists -- he's the professional with the contacts, so this guy must be a scam -- but she drags him on. Squabbling- they'll be smooching in the last scene, 100 to 1
Gay characters after ther break
Scene 6: The Pentatonix finish a parade gig and return to their hotel with their manager. Scott Hoying tells her that his aunt is in town with four friends, and they need tickets. Nope, they used up all of their family/friends tickets.
Pentatonix: An American a capella group from Arlington, Texas, formed in 2011. Scott and Mitch are both gay. They appear to do a Christmas album every year, most recently in 2022, and they performed in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in 2023.
Scene 7: The other guy wanted to meet them in a Village dive bar called The Comrade. At 9:30 am, it's empty except for a guy in a suit. He's leering at Layla; not a gay bar. Tony smells a scam, but Lalya is entranced. The price goes up to $800. To see a concert with a guy she met once, and is not even sure that he's interested in her? Invite him to dinner instead.
Whoops, the guy sold her tickets to last year's concert. She tries to pepper spray him, but gets Tony instead.
Scene 8: Back to Pentatonix. Manager gets a text from Tony, begging for a ticket. "This lady's romantic future is at stake." The group likes the idea of a Christmas love story.
Meanwhile, Tony and Layla are falling in love, of course. "Why don't you just text the guy, say you can't get a ticket, and ask him to dinner." Because she wants to be in a Christmas love story.
They discuss what the universe is trying to tell her, "Give up, I don't want you together," or "Try harder." Girl, if the guy is into you, wouldn't he be texting you? Where, precisely, will you be meeting to see this concert?
Scene 9: More falling in love stuff. They end up having dinner with the BFF. Teddy's back story: he used to be a chef at a Michellin-star restaurant, but his mama got sick, so he had to go home, and there are no chef jobs in New York, so he became a concierge. Really?
Speaking of: His cousin scored two tickets. They're at his Mom's house in Brooklyn.
Scene 10: Teddy and Layla at his Mom's house. Cousin Jordy, a swishy queen, says that the tickets have gotten complicated. Wait -- couldn't he take care of your Mama?
Cousin Jordy, left, is played by Kalen Allen, "an award-winning actor, producer, singer, and television personality who has captivated millions." He appeared as Cyn in With Love, and in 2023 he hosted the GLSEN Respect Awards.
The complication: Jordy doesn't actually have the tickets. They'll go to the winner of the lip-synching contest at the Snow Ball. He can't compete, because he was banned when he slashed the tires of last year's winner, so it's up to Tony and Lalya. Except these are hard-core professional drag queens, and Tony gets stage fright, so no way can they compete. You will if Layla bats her eyes.
The training: they have to play a romantic couple. "You mean I have to put my hands on her...ugh...hips?" If I didn't know that he was in love with Layla, I'd swear that Tony was gay.
Next they make six crème brûlées. But there are only four people in the house. Layla and Mom encourage Tony to open a restaurant, but he's too afraid of failure.
Scene 10: Morning. Layla slept on the couch. Cut to that night: the Snow Ball, with drag queen Priyanka performing. Jordy gets into a row with a Nutcracker who tells him that he's banned. Surely he can attend, he just can't compete.
Two non-drag queens, Patrice and Tyler, perform an erotic pas-a-deux. Hey, Tyler is played by Julliard-trained Brennan Clost, no fair.
Tony and Layla perform a jazzy "Santa Baby." Well, not risque until the very, very, very long final kiss. Heterosexuals have been showing the gays how it's done since the 1970s, when Alex teaches an entire gay bar how to dance on "Taxi." Surprise -- they just win second place.
Pentatonix, watching on their screens like a Greek chorus, lament that Layla won't get her ticket, but maybe the universe wants her to be with Tony instead.
Wait -- one of the industry comps can't go, so there's a free ticket. Give it to Layla or not? James or Tony? Shouldn't it be her decision, not yours?
Back at the Snow Ball, Tony and Layla discuss the kiss. "It was just acting, it didn't mean anything, right?" What the heck is keeping you apart? A date with a guy met once, a year ago? Just ask her to go steady, already.
Cousin Jordy comes ambling back: "You got a ticket! Pentatonix sent you one!" Wait -- the concert is on the same night as the Snow Ball. Is this like a midnight show? Only one condition: "Tony has to play Santa after the performance." Wouldn't they already have a Santa hired?
There's a half hour left, but mostly it involves Pentatonix performing -- they'd better, after all this buildup -- and Layla making her decision.
You can watch the rest of the movie to find out, or just use your knowledge of movie cliches.
Beefcake: None.
Heterosexism: Of course. It's a romcom. No sex, but two very, very, very long kisses.
Gay Characters: The two Pentatonix guys and Cousin Jordy, but they don't demonstrate any same-sex desire or use the g-word, they're just swishy and into skin care products. Like the gay bffs in most romcoms, their only goal in life is to get the heterosexual couple together. But at least there's an extended scene set in a drag club.
My Grade: B
Bonus: When you search for Patrice, the other "dirty dancer," played by Patrice Ken Pham, you get Tony Phan. Close enough.
See also: Pitch Perfect: Nerd Ben Pratt, hunk Skyler Astin, and jerk Adam Devine in an a capella group
Bumper in Berlin: Pitch Perfect's Adam Devine spreads joy and ineptitude in Berlin.
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