"A Knight before Christmas": Time-Traveling Christmas Rom-Com

I'm not in the habit of watching Christmas movies, especially those with dumb pun titles like A Knight Before Christmas (2019).  But I couldn't resist nitpicking. A knight is zapped from 14th century Britain to Small Town Ohio in the present day.  Sort of Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court in reverse.

But there were no knights in the 14th century  (except as ceremonial titles), and the Middle English of the era would be nearly incomprehensible:

Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote,
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licóur
Of which vertú engendred is the flour;

Sir Cole (Josh Whitehouse)  is upset because he hasn't proved himself a "true knight" yet (but that's what the title "sir" means).  His younger brother, Sir Geoffrey, is having a knighting ceremony in a few days, so he feels left out.

Harry Jarvis is buffed, but I can't figure out a way to copy his instagram post.

In the woods on a snowy day, Sir Cole is nice to an Old Crone (who actually looks like a middle-aged faded beauty).  She promises to guide him to where he can prove himself.  She zaps him into a 21st century Small Town.

Meanwhile, Small Town resident Brooke (Vanessa Hudgens) is not one of these liberated Disney princesses who fight alongside the prince.  She's longing for a "knight in shining armor," a "happily ever after" Camelot.  Instead of the  black best friend traditional in rom-coms, she has a single-mom sister and niece (not to worry, Officer Stevens, the only cop on the Small Town police force, is black, so the producers could check off the "racial diversity" box).

Cole and Brooke have a meet cute when she hits him with her car.  Feeling guilty, she takes him in, and humors his contention that he is a time traveler.  His wonderment over 21st century marvels like TV and coffee ensues, and plot complications...

Well, no real plot complications.   Sir Cole does challenge her ex-boyfriend (Neil Babcock) to a duel because he's not as chivalrous as he should be, there's a girl stuck on thin ice who needs rescuing, and a teenage pickpocket to be subdued (the latter gets Cole a job offer.  Apparently you don't need to go to the police academy in Small Town Ohio.  Just show up, and they strap on a gun).

Oh, and a Christmas party to prepare for.  Did I mention that it's Christmastime?

Some indecision on Cole's part, but Vanessa tells him: You can be anything you want in life, if you try hard enough.

The main "tension": Will Cole go back to the past after he learns to "believe in himself", or stay in Small Town Ohio with Brooke?

What do you think?

Well, he does go back, for a few minutes, to see Sir Geoffrey, and give him some advice on how to become a true knight: "Be kind to all you meet."

Wait -- how does he go back and forth in time at will?

Beefcake:  Almost everybody in town is female, and the men keep their clothes on.  But check out stuntman Alex Armbruster, who played "Young Husband at Tree Farm."

Buddy bonding: Almost everyone in town is female.

Gay characters: Evan, whose daughter Cole saves from the thin ice, hugs him.  But Cole is mystified by the gesture: "Is this some sort of Christmas wrestling match?).  He's unfamiliar with the concept of men hugging.  (Evan has a wife)

There's also a single dad (Jean-Michel Le Gal) who is struggling financially, so Vanessa give him money to buy his kids presents.  He has a slew of kids, so I'm thinking dead wife rather than gay.

I guess rom-coms are the final frontier for queerness.  I imagine that Netflix bigwigs feel thatt the rom-com audience is "not ready" for gay characters hanging around and being gay at Christmas time.  Everybody knows that gay people flash out of existence just after Halloween and don't return until Oscar Night.

The Strongest Boy in England

Kids of all ages can benefit from strength training, and can compete in amateur bodybuilding events.  Teenage division of bodybuilding competitions are open to anyone aged 13 to 19.   

My second cousin Mike Prater (left), age 16, won first place at the INBA Bodybuilding Contest in 2009, and Baron Beaver (right), age 17, took second place.

So I was wondering about the authenticity of a series of photographs floating around the internet that purport to show "The Boy Sampson" and "The Strongest Boy in Britain," aka 14-year old Charles Highfield of  Coventry, England.

In a series of photographs dated February 13, 1932, Charles lifts a  100-pound globe barbell over his head.  

Lots of high-school age boys can do a 100-pound deadlift, but probably none with such skinny arms.  Still, it's possible.

Next, Charles' father stands on his neck.  This was a common strength stunt of the side-show strong man, hopefully accomplished without crushing the larynx.  

Three months later, in a photo dated May 28, 1932, Charles supports a 200-pound motorcycle and driver with his hands and knees.

Oddly enough, he's wearing the same clothes, even the same socks.  So is his Dad.

On the same day, in the same position, but in a different location, Charles supports four men weighing a total of 476 pounds.  You can support more weight than you can lift,, so it's possible.

Charles is not a bodybuilder.  He looks distracted, even frightened in these photos. One wonders if he actually wanted to be the "Boy Samson" and "The Strongest Boy in England."

I haven't been able to discover anything about Charles' later life, but on a family tree website, I read about his father: William Highfield,, Gold and Silver Medalist Champion Strong Man, instructor in the Wolstanton Weight Lifting and Physical Culture School.

So Dad was trying to mold Charles in his own image, regardless of whether the boy was interested.

We've all been there.

See also: Richard Sandrak, the Strongest Boy in the World