Ricky/Rick Schroder

Ricky Schroeder was the iconic "cute kid" of the 1980s.  With his cherubic round face, baby blue eyes, and dimpled cheeks, he looked like a Campbell's Soup kid, or Richie Rich before his muscle spurt -- perfect for heart-wrenching roles on movies-of-the-week like Something So Right and A Reason to Live.

 In 1982, at age 12, Ricky was cast as a poor little rich boy on Silver Spoons -- his dad (Joel Higgins) is the fabulously wealthy owner of a toy company, so they live in a mansion that looks like a giant toy store.  Ricky has a series of same-sex chums, many of whom went on to teen idol careers  -- Anthony Starke, Jason Bateman as a bad boy, Billy Jacoby as another bad boy, Corky Pigeon as a nerd, Bobby Fite as a cowboy, and finally Alfonso Ribeiro, who grew into a bodybuilding hunk.

By 1987, Ricky was 17, muscular, and no longer cherubic, so Silver Spoons ended. Ricky renamed himself Rick, dropped the "e" from his last name (it merely signifies an umlaut in German), and started a massive re-invention campaign.

No more rich kids, nor more sophisticates.  If the role didn't require a Southern accent, he wasn't interested.  He played cowboys, country boys, rednecks,killers, and sports stars.  He was shirtless or sometimes completely nude in Too Young the Hero (1988), Across the Tracks (1991), and lots more.

And he did a substantial amount of buddy-bonding,

Rick has remained very active in moves and on tv.  In 2008 he made headlines by playing what was probably the first openly gay character on a tv science fiction series, Major Bill Keene on  The Andromeda Strain.

Though he is a long-term Republican, a member of the NRA, and a Mormon, three groups not known for their gay-friendliness, Rick is not at all homophobic.

There is a celebrity hookup story about Ricky on Tales of West Hollywood

The Hogan Family

During the 1980s, the buzzword was "family values," which meant that only people who had heterosexual nuclear families had value. We heard again and again that the only life worth living involved husbands and wives raising horny teenager and wisecracking preteens.  That's why Married...with Children was such a big hit, immersed in a pool of Family Ties, Family Matters, Growing Pains, The Wonder Years, and The Cosby Show.  

But there was a glimmer of inclusivity in The Hogan Family (1986-91), which began as Valerie, a star vehicle for Mary Tyler Moore Show second banana Valerie Harper  She played the matriarch of a nuclear family consisting of airline pilot husband Michael Hogan (Josh Taylor, left), horny teenager David (17-year old Jason Bateman, previously of It's Your Move and Silver Spoons), and wisecracking twins who looked nothing alike Mark (15-year old Jeremy Licht) and Willie (15-year old Danny Ponce).

After a season and a half, Harper left in the midst of a salary dispute -- and proved not indispensible.  Her character was killed, Aunt Sandy (Sandy Duncan) moved in, and the renamed series got top ratings for another three years.

As is common in nuclear family sitcoms, the kids soon took over.  The twins usually had episodes involving cheating, bullies, staying out past curfew, friends (notably Andre Gower), and the "discovery of girls."  By the last season, they were as heterosexually active as David.

Jeremy Licht had soft, androgynous features, and became the darling of the teen magazines.

Danny Ponce was frequently ignored. But many gay teens preferred him to Jeremy Licht

.Especially in later seasons, when he toned up.  Here's what he looks like after Hogan.

Jason Bateman was mostly ignored, too -- there are no shirtless teen idol pix of him anywhere.  But his David got most of the serious episodes (premarital sex, drunk driving, gambling), and he had ample time for buddy-bonding, particularly with the gay-coded teen-operator Rich (Tom Hodges).

 Rich died of AIDS in a December 1990 episode.

They didn't specify how he contracted the disease, but as this was the first sitcom AIDS episode where everyone didn't yell "Blood transfusion!" over and over, the silence was more than enough to tell us that David's friend was gay.

Most of the cast members are gay allies.  Jason Bateman has played gay characters many times. Jeremy Licht and his wife Kimberly are vocal supporters of gay rights; 2012 he participated in Brice Beckham's CCOKC video (Child Celebrities Opposing Kirk Cameron).

There's a Jason Bateman story on Gay Celebrity Dating Stories.

See also: Danny Ponce

Danny Ponce after Hogan

Danny Ponce was arguably the heartthrob of The Hogan Family (1986-1991), surpassing Jason Bateman in the number of first gay crushes he elicited, and in the number of teen magazine shots featuring glimpses of his increasingly muscular physique.

But he was a busy child star before Hogan, with roles on Happy Days, Family Ties, Hunter, and Hotel, as well as a 3-year stint as Jason Avery on Knots Landing (1983-86).

Since Hogan, he's remained close friends with his tv brother Jeremy Licht.  They were best men at each other's weddings.

He's muscled up.

He now goes by Dan Ponce, although that means that the Internet Movie Database mistakes him for the Dan Ponce who founded the "Straight, No Chaser" a capella group and now works for WGN in Chicago (no relation).

Although Dan isn't a superstar anymore, he's had some substantial movie roles.  Man of the Year (2002)  was particularly memorable, the story of a "Man of the Year" celebration for business ex Bill (John Ritter) with the dialogue entirely improv.

And he occasionally returns to his comedy roots on tv:

On the "My Urologist" episode of Scrubs as a member of the Greasers musical group who points out that Elliott is "square."

On the "Hundred Dollar Baby" episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, as a guy who gets beat up by Charlie and Dee.

Homophobia and Gay Subtexts in Horrible Bosses

Last night I watched Horrible Bosses (2011) on Netflix.  I resisted when it originally appeared due to its reputation for extreme homophobia, but, strangely enough, I didn't find it particularly homophobic.

The premise, obviously, is that three best buds have horrible bosses.

Nick (Jason Bateman) works for David Harken (Kevin Spacey), who calls him a liar for saying he came to work on time when he was actually two seconds late, tricks him into drinking whiskey, then calls him a drunk, and holds a promotion over his head, only to give it to himself.

Dale (Charlie Day of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) works as a dental hygienist for Dr. Julia Harris (Jennifer Aniston), who sexually harasses him (and sexually assaults her unconscious patients), and tries to blackmail him into having sex with her.




Kurt (Jason Sudeikis, left) likes his boss (Donald Sutherland), but then the old man dies, leaving the company to his bigoted cokehead son Bobby Pellitt (Colin Farrell) who wants to make as much money as possible by cutting corners and ignoring environmental guidelines.

For reasons that weren't entirely satisfactory, they can't quit, or file complaints with regulatory boards, so they decide to kill their bosses.

First they answer an ad on Craigslist, but the "hit man" turns out to be a hustler who specializes in urinating on men.

They hire a man named "Motherf___ Jones," who eventually explains that he's never actually killed anyone.  He did jail time for illegally filming a movie.

Then David Harken, suspecting that Bobby Pellitt has been having an affair with his wife, shoots him.  The gang witnesses the murder, but how can they implicate Harken without getting in trouble themselves?

There are only two homophobic statements:
1. Dr. Harris calls Dale a "fag" for refusing to sleep with him.  But she's a horrible person.
2. Bobby Pellitt thinks that Kurt's relationship with his father was "a little gay."  But he's a horrible person, too.

In fact, Dale is engaged to a woman, and Kurt tries to pick up every woman in sight with lame come-ons (which always work), but Nick doesn't express any heterosexual interests.  He specifies that, due to a heavy work load, he hasn't "had sex with someone other than myself" for months.  He can certainly be read as gay.

Plus-Sized Boys in 1980s Movies

In the 1960s and 1970s, gay preteens who liked their boys plus-sized found slim pickings in movies and on tv, where skinny waifs ruled.  The most they could hope for was an occasional bully or obnoxious glutton, like Augustus Gloop (Michael Bollner) in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971).

By the 1980s, the husky or fat kid became a standard movie sidekick.  Paradoxically, he was apparently inserted into the plot to decrease the erotic potential of the buddy-bond, using the rubric that fat is by definition unattractive.  In The Goonies (1985), Jeff Cohen as "Chunk" participated in the adventure along with the others, and even managed to save the day.  But not before he took off his shirt to do the "truffle shuffle" belly dance.

Jerry O'Connell (center) even got a nude shot with his buddies in Stand by Me (1986), but again, his size apparently precluded any homoromantic imaginings between him and River Phoenix (left), Corey Feldman (right), or Wil Wheaton (not shown).

Paranormal investigator Brent Chalem was Andre Gower's buddy in Monster Squad (1987), but they didn't express much romantic interest.  Instead, gay kids shipped Andre and Robby Kiger.

We see the same exclusion in Adam Sadowsky as Jason Bateman's scheming best friend on It's Your Move (1985-86): friendship, but not much of a gay subtext. Peter Costa played a silent, timid, beset-upon white kid who hung out with Rudy on The Cosby Show (1985-89), but he was more of a sight gag than a friend. Besides, Rudy was a girl.

None of these actors spent much time in front of the camera as teenagers or adults, except for Jerry O'Connell, who muscled up.  Maybe being a former child star is especially traumatic when you are plus-sized.

It's Your Move

Before Married with Children demolished the myth of the euphoric nuclear family, It's Your Move (1984-85) did the same for the teencom.  Matt Burton (Jason Bateman, who would go on to star on The Hogan Family) seems to be a perfect teenage boy, but he's actually an unscrupulous, amoral operator, running a variety of scams and illegal businesses with the assistance of his best friend Eli (Adam Sadowski).  His only soft spot is for his mother, Eileen (Caren Kaye), so some of his schemes involve doing things for her, like getting her a raise at work.

Then struggling writer Norman Lamb (David Garrison, who would go on to star on Married...with Children) moves into the apartment across the hall and starts dating Matt's mom.  It turns out that there is also an unscrupulous, amoral operator lurking under his "nice guy" facade.  But not to worry, he has only honorable intentions.

Matt and Norman begin a battle of wits, cons, and blackmail, as each tries to gain power and demonstrate the other's true nature to an oblivious Eileen.

It was a welcome surcease from the TGIF sitcom jungle. Plus beefcake (David Garrison in extremely tight jeans), gay symbolism (hiding a secret life), and a decided lack of girl-craziness in Matt. Though his relationship with Eli didn't quite make the intensity of a homoromance.

The producers had high hopes for It's Your Move.  A tie-in novel was authorized, and up-and-coming star River Phoenix had a guest shot in the pilot.

Teen magazines began nonstop gushing over freckle-faced Jason Bateman..

Unfortunately, the network shoved the series into a Wednesday night timeslot opposite the blockbuster Dynasty, with the sixth season of The Facts of Life as a lead-in.  I watched, but apparently nobody else did.  Only 18 episodes aired.  You can see them on youtube.