Mar 5, 2019

Tween Fest: Internet Jerks in the Desert

In the short tv series Tween Fest (2016), available on youtube and Amazon, the young, entitled, and social media-savvy Maddisyn (Joey King) has become internet-famous with her pimple-popping videos, but she wants to break into music, like Justin Bieber and countless others. 

So her doting and clueless Dad (John Michael Higgins) and his unpaid intern Ethan (Kale Hills) organizes a teenage internet festival in Death Valley -- sort of a combination of Burning Man and the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards. 

Of course, things go wrong immediately ("20,000 people in the desert.  Do you think we'll need bathrooms?).

Maddisyn's song is booed, so she becomes an anti-festival activist.

A conservative senator shows up (so conservative that he spearheaded a bill that would make all women who have an orgasm sex offenders).

The Splurge Company, which is sponsoring the event, removes all water so people will drink more Splurge.  Everyone starts collapsing from dehydration.

A kid internet reporter named Stop the Preston (transgender actress Josie Totah) comments on the inanity.

But most of the humor comes from the acts.



1. Zayden (Drew Tarver), who makes "social justice" videos. He pretends to need help  ("I'm a big, stinky homeless man.  Could you give me some free money?"), and then shames you when you refuse.  When his hypocrisy is revealed, he goes on a walkabout in the desert, and falls in with some Mad Max-style Australian "mean pranksters": they spit on people or light their butts on fire.

2. Venmo star Lexi (Arden Cho).  Venmo is an app that allows you to pay people directly from your bank account, and Lexi has been sharing her best transactions online (e.g., paid AustinJ $4 for a pizza emoji).  She wrote a book about her best transactions, plus a graphic novel which became an IPhone game (but those Expanded Universe transactions are no longer canon). 

3.   Family Guy  impressionist Dusty Del Grosso (Lou Wilson), who must find a new schtick when he gets a "cease and desist" order from the show's lawyers.  So he learns twonking (vape tricks).

4. "The Dabbler Dudes," who try anything weird (like wearing makeup, or cutting off their penises).

5. Dem Water Cup Boys (left), who ask for water cups in restaurants but fill them with soda. It turns out that they only prank restaurants owned by their rich daddy.


Plus Dustin Dustin Nathan, Austin Aaron Joshua, Justin Taylor Tyler, and Jason Tyler Justin-Austin.  And to think we had trouble in the 1980s with 2 Coreys.

And Gus Da Fingerer, PeateyBeatz, Vomit Donna, Shia LaPuff, the Pasta Beast, Jesus Juice, Pamberger2000, Random Kevin, and Ariana Grande (she'll smile and wave for 6 seconds).

Gross, humorous, and satisfying for those of us who get annoyed by people who make millions of dollars by filming themselves jumping into hot tubs filled with Cocoa Puffs.

However, I was expecting far more beefcake.  There actually isn't any.  None of the acts perform shirtless, and the audience is all fully clothed (in the desert). Looking online for photos of the entire cast, I only could find Josh Fadern (top photo), Jimmy Fowlie (above), and Brian Jordan Alvarez (left).

There weren't any explicitly gay characters, although gay people are mentioned, and a lot of the pranksters had subtexts.   Unfortunately, there was an explicit hetero-romance between Zayden and Lexi.

I give it a C-.


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