Cut Throat City: Maybe a Gay Muslim Character, But Definitely No Zombies

 

 We are busy watching Corner Gas, Cougar Town, Atlantis, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Riverdale, and Disenchanted, so not much time for new shows.  But any movie with a muscular guy in a sleeveless shirt as an icon has got my attention, so I plugged in Cut Throat City.  I'll watch until the homophobia or heterosexism kicks in.

Opening Credits: Cut-out animation of four African-American men and one woman fighting off an army of zombies.

Scene 1: The scene morphs into a graphic novel that four guys in a van are passing around and criticizing: "It's not real enough."  According to the IMDB, they are probably: 

1. Miracle (Demetrius Shipp Jr., top photo)

2. Blink (Shemeik Moore, below)

3. Andre (Denzel Whitaker, no beefcake photos available)

4. Junior (Keean Johnson, third photo), who looks white, but they specifically state that he is black.

They continue a "real" conversation about movies, weed, vocabulary, and guns, dropping the n-word so much that I'm struggling not to be shocked.  Oh, it's also Andre's wedding day.  

Scene 2: A small church in the countryside.  Andre helps his bride's son get dressed.  Meanwhile, Bride is about ready to bolt -- she absolutely does not want to marry Andre.  But Mom reassures her: "Marriage isn't about happiness  It's about meaning." 

Meanwhile, the guys are discussing how the woman who just passed gave them errections, and the Best Man is completely against this wedding.  His Mom reassures him: "James is your best friend.  You have to go through with it."  

Why does Best Man's Mom call the Groom James?  Is it James or Andre?

According to the IMDB, it's Blink.

Montage of the wedding: close-up of rings going on, several smooches.  Reception: they dance and smooch some more.  Over the threshold into the house, sex (no nudity), smooching and that thing where you suck on your partner's lower lip (well, I never heard of that, but it's what they do).  Sleeping and smooching.

So, the Bride acting like she was ready to run out the door to escape from marrying Andre/James/Blink? The Best Man implying that he thought the marriage was terribly, terribly wrong?  Those were all red herrings?  Everything is fine?

Where are the zombies?

Scene 3: Hurricane!  I think I read something in the plot synopsis about Hurricane Katrina, which devastated New Orleans and other coastal cities in 2005.  So this is a historical drama.  That's why there are no cell phones.  Much of New Orleans is underwater.  Most of the residents have been evacuated.  

I didn't sign on for a disaster movie.  What happened to the paranormal peril?  

Scene 4: Andre/James/Blink works on his comic art while Bride feeds her kid breakfast.  They proceed to swallow each other's tongues right in front of their kid!

Ok, I can't take any more of this heterosexist "men and women gazing into each other's eyes forever" garbage, especially after the intriguing hints that something was terribly wrong turned out to be misdirection. I'm fast-forwarding.

Talking, talking, talking, pulling a gun, women gyrating on poles, a fight, a gun, a white cop, talking, kissing, more women gyrating on poles (with close ups of their butts), talking, kissing, getting shot and killed.

One of the reviews mentions that a main character is gay, and a devout Muslim.  It doesn't say which one.  I certainly didn't notice anyone engaging in any same-sex romantic interactions, or for that matter anyone praying, reading the Qur'an, going to a mosque, or doing anyting Muslim-specific.  

And no zombies!