"Life's Rewards": Try to Convince Me that Dan is Not Gay

 

It occurs to me that I post a lot more reviews of tv series with D and F ratings than with A and B.  There's a good reason for that: when I dislike a series, I stop after one episode or less.  When I like it, I'm busy watching, and the reviews stop.  

Plus it depends on which streaming service I'm concentrating on.  Netflix has the most As and Bs:  I liked 9 of the last 15 series reviewed: Ragnarok, Move to Heaven, Girl from Nowhere, Luis Miguel, Who Killed Sarah, Summertime. The Upshaws, Family Reunion

Amazon Prime has mostly Ds and Fs: I liked only 2 of the last 15 series reviewed there: Cougar Town and Columbo.

So here goes: Amazon Prime's recommendation of Life's Rewards: "Privileged son of a high-profile wealth manager, Dan had it easy until he waged (sic) everything on a big gamble and lost.  Stranded, Dan is forced to live on the only two assets he has left: his unquestionable charisma and a massive cache of hotel points."

No girlfriends are mentioned in the episode synopses, but one is about Dan and Jared's friendship "continuing to grow," and in another, he helps a woman resolve her marital problems.  Neither of the trailers show him kissing a girl (except a kiss on the cheek).  Dan must be gay!  I'll watch Episode 5, the "Dan and Jared friendship" episode, to find out.

Scene 1: Dan in a bar -- a very minimalist bar, all blank walls, flashing lights, and extras.  Two guys walk by, then a drag queen.  This is a gay bar! 

He is talking to a bald guy in a glittery shirt: "We need to resolve the situation with the SEC.  They think you committed financial fraud during that meeting."  

Dan: Uh-oh.

Flashback to the office.  Dan tells coworker Joel that he's leaving for the Hamptons. "I'm skipping the meeting, but tell everyone that I was there. What's the worst that can happen?"

Back to the bar.  Glittery guy: "If you can prove that you weren't there, I can get the SEC off your back, and your Dad will take you back."

Scene 2: Dan walks out of the bar, hand in hand with a girl. So what?  Lots of gay guys have girl BFFs.   He kisses her on the cheek and says "I thought I had it all -- the money, the girls, the cash, the parties....."

The girls? So what? He's come out as gay, so he's not trying to pretend to be heterosexual by hanging out wijth a lot of girls anymore.  Not a problem.

Scene 3:  Dan and Jared boxing shirtless on the beach, discussing his financial problems: "I lost half a billion dollars for my company, and most of my own, because I skipped a meeting."  So what?  Lots of gay couples go boxing on their first date.  Prove me wrong.

Scene 4: Dan and the Girl on beach chairs, texting and discussing his financial problems, which caused a major rift with his Dad.

Scene 5:  Dan buys a bottled water at the hotel gift shop, and sees his credit points go down.  

Cut to boxing on the beach.  Not to worry, Jared says, he'll pay for dinner.  If one of the guys is paying, it's definitely a date.  No question.  None at all.

Scene 6:  The big dinner.  Jared and Dan gazing into each other's eyes.  Jared says that what Dan needs is The Blues (the musical style).   

Scene 7: Jared takes Dan to the Hideaway Cafe, with "music for your soul."  Dan obviously cruises the bouncer.  He is obviously gay.

Sitting in the bar, Jared tells about his career as an army medic.  Whoa, Dan, lay off the touching the shoulder bit.  It's getting a little excessive.  You think he's hot, I got it.

The concert: a lady blues singer with a guitar: "Walkin' alone, finding my way, my troubles are gone..."  We hear the whole song, which is actually quite good, but slows down the action.  I want to see more of Jared and Dan gazing into each other's eyes.

Scene 8:  A week later.  At the hotel, Maria the housekeeper rushes to tell Jared that Dan is acting weird.  He spends all day lying on the bed in hotel rooms that have been vacated, stealing food from room-service trays and listening to music.

Jared goes up to see what the trouble is.  Dan: "My life sucks and I have no future.  And no money."

Jared:  "Don't worry, we're going to comp you a room here at the hotel.  And get some help."  

Scene 9:  The "help" turns out to be the girl from Scene 1.   So Jared asked the Girl to pull Dan out of his depression, instead of doing it himself.  He probably thinks that the Girl knows Dan better.  It means nothing.

Girl: "What's the trouble?"

Dan: "Everything that has happened is my fault. I deserve to be shunned."

Girl: "I don't want to shun you.  Maybe I want to spend the night with you, but not like this."  So what?  She said she was attracted to him; Dan never said that he was interested.  

Scene 10:  Cleaned-up, no longer depressed, Dan heads down to the cabana.  Jared, working, asks what turned him around.   He sits down next to the Girl.

Flashback to Dan and the Girl hanging out.  Apparently they were an item, back in the day. 

So what?  Lots of gay guys have ex-girlfriends.  

She says that she's joined Alcoholics Anonymous, where you make amends to people you've wronged in the past.  Dan should try that, too.  

See?  She's here to make amends, not to rekindle their old romance.

Until there's an actual boy-girl kiss in real time in the present, I'm going to keep on reading Dan as gay.  You can't change my mind.

By the way, the series was funded by the Florida State Tourism Board and Visit St. Petersburg, so every episode has Dan spending a lot of time at a local tourist attraction (in Episode 5, the famous blues club).  I might watch the episode where he visits the Dali Museum.