Kyle Bornheimer: Bear Bares It All

Kyle Bornheimer has been in the business for less than 10 years, but he is already getting a reputation for failed sitcoms: Worst Week, Perfect Couples, Romantically Challenged, and most recently Family Tools.  In all of them, he plays the same kind of character, a likeable nebbish who is clueless about matters of hetero-romance.  

I suggest some of his non-heterosexist comedy shorts instead, such as Gym Day, about a man who goes through endless hassles to get to the gym, only to find it closed, or God Reschedules Rapture, about...well, God being too busy to hold the Rapture as scheduled.  Some appear on the Funny or Die website.

Kyle has also played  likeable nebbish characters who are clueless about matters of gay romance:

In Spokane (2004): a straight guy falls for a gay guy at a wedding, resulting in a naked hotel room encounter.  You can see it on the collection Boys Life 7 (2010).

In a 2006 episode of the shortlived Lovespring International, about a dating service,  he played a clueless gay nebbish looking for a date.

He also "hints" about same-sex desire, as on Perfect Couples (2010-2011), when Dave (Kyle) makes a gay friend, and his wife is jealous.

Bachelorette (2012) is a raunchy comedy about four women preparing for their friend's wedding.  A gay guy does a striptease for them.

Or most recently, on Family Tools (2013), his character has a requisite crush on a girl, but also cozies up to his assistant, Darren (Edi Gathegi).

I understand he's on the current reboot of Will and Grace as a security guard.

And in all of his performances, we get shirtless and nude shots of his muscular bear physique, often hiding his private parts behind humorous objects.  In Spokane, he bares it all.

Good News and Bad News about Jake T. Austin

You remember Jake T. Austin, who played the gay-subtext kid Max on the Disney Channel's Wizards of Waverly Place (2007-2011), and Jesus on the gay-friendly Fosters (2011-2015)?  Well, I have good news and bad news.

The good news first:

1. He's got an amazing physique, which he is not shy about showing off. Not like some other Disney teen stars I could name.

2. Remarkable chest.  He's Tiger Beat fave rave material.

3. He's still working regularly, doing a lot of voiceovers, like Blue Beetle in the Teen Titans movies.

4. He appeared on Dancing with the Stars in 2016

5. Did I mention his six-pack abs?

6.  He still hangs out with Moises Arias.

7. He has never tweeted anything homophobic.

8. Nice biceps.

9. He's single.

10. He's been spotted on the street in West Hollywood.

And now the bad news:

1. If he was gay, he would have made a public statement by now

2. He has a girlfriend

Daria: Sparks of Humanity in the Craziness of Modern Life

After appearing as a minor character on MTV's animated Beavis and Butthead, sardonic high schooler Daria spun off into her own series in 1997.  You could tell by the theme song that this would be no Beavis redux:

Excuse me...EXCUSE ME...You're standing on my neck!

Daria is a super-intelligent, anti-social, outcast student at bourgeois Lawndale High, negotiating horribly incompetent, glory-grubbing teachers and idiotic students.

Lke squeaky-voiced Kevin, a football quarterback in spite of his less-than-spectacular physique, and his ditzy girlfriend Brittany.

Home is no better.  Mom Helen is a high-power attorney who is constantly taking phone calls from work, too busy to notice her daughters.  Dad Jake is a high-strung moron with a traumatic past.

Sister Quinn is super-popular, a member of the vacuous Fashion Club, dating a dozen guys, including the trio Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie, afraid to let on how smart she actually is.

Daria has a gay-subtext buddy relationship with fellow outcast, the artistic Jane ("we'll always be freaking friends"), and there are a few other people in Lawndale who she can stand the sight of:

Trent, Jane's brother, an aspiring singer in the punk group Mystic Spiral (left, fan pic from Deviantart.com)

Tom, Jane's boyfriend, who Daria eventually steals (below).

Mack, the only black male student at Lawndale High (second below), and his overachieving girlfriend Jodie, are allies.














It's not just "aren't most people idiots" 1990s angst.  Daria has many faults of her own -- she is judgmental, temperamental, inclined to jealousy, terrified of rejection.  She often gets her comeuppance.

All of the characters are flawed, but they all demonstrate some redeeming traits, too, moments of kindness, anxiety about the future, sparks of humanity that shine through the craziness.

A lot of beefcake -- cute animated guys, that is.  But rarely shirtless.  These photos are all from the opening montage of the movie Is It Fall Yet?  

Not a lot of gay content, other than the Daria-Jane subtext and the three inseparable J's.

 An occasional homophobic aside:

Daria notes that in Medieval England, King John made Robin Hood his "special friend."

One of the J's suggests that Mercutio from Romeo and Juliet is gay, and therefore should be banned from the locker room.

A predatory bisexual woman tries to convince Jane that she's a lesbian in order to get into her pants.

Not nearly as bad as other animated sitcoms of the period, or today. Have you seen Family Guy lately?




Plus it is amazingly well-written, funny without being vulgar, and that rarest of creatures, sarcasm with a heart.  Well worth getting ahold of the complete series on DVD (65 episodes and two movies).